Spoilery Book Reviews

Loveless by Alice Oseman

Back of the book

Georgia has never being in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but, as a fanfic-obsessed romantic, she's sure she'll find her person one day.

As she starts university, Georgia makes a plan to find love. But when her actions wreak havoc among her friends she questions why romance seems so easy for other people yet not for her. With new terms thrown at her – asexual, aromantic – Georgia is more uncertain about her feelings than ever.

Is she destined to remain Loveless? Or has she been looking for the wrong thing all along?

My thoughts

I've loved these friendship love stories. I think it's Alice Osemans' thing just like crime is James Patterson's thing. I'm all for it.

Jumping into this characters' viewpoint feels odd, because I am not asexual. All of the assumed feelings that don't make sense to Georgia make perfect sense to me. It's bizarre to wrap my head around the concept of not feeling romantic or sexual attraction. This story creates empathy for that experience.

We all go through life making certain assumptions, and it's not intended to be damaging, but it can. Everyone's platitudes falls short: "You just haven't met the right person yet." It's ubiquitous but wrong for Georgia's experience and I really feel for her. Sometimes the best intentions just don't work out and instead you have to listen to the person, instead of trying to solve their problems based on what's worked in your life. We are all unique.

For me, this book raises the question: does the heteronormative and romance normative narrative need to change? What a big can of worms. I feel changing the heteronormative assumption is easy; you don't have to ask about a boy/girl friend, but a partner. "Is there anyone you like?" Easily gender neutral, just as searching. I can't imagine not asking these searching questions, they're harmless enough. A parent trying to connect with their child, friends teasing each other, or catching up on life with each other. I guess the one lesson is to just accept the answer. If the answer is no, then that's the entire answer. Move on.

Georgia's story was very convenient. She had Sunil and Ellis as role models who were available at the right times. Georgia still felt all the crushing loneliness but she had those points of reference in her life. Being queer may not be rare anymore, but asexuality is much less visible and known about. So for Georgia to have two role models in close proximity to her was perhaps unrealistically convenient, yet still plausible. That's probably my main criticism for the book.

I love challenging the assumptions that romantic relationships are more important, or higher tier or more fulfilling, than platonic ones. All relationships have a place in life: family, friends, lovers, colleagues, acquaintances. Friendships are not to be taken for granted, they involve deep love and I'd like to argue, MORE important than romantic relationships. The best marriages are based on friendship, everything else is a bonus.

Alice Oseman delivers another epic friendship love story, shedding light on a minority that needs all the (platonic) love it can get: asexuality and the related spectrum. Why are English teachers not dissecting these themes in school? Learning how to make and keep friendships is much more important than the power of metaphors. If you only read one Alice Oseman book, I recommend this one, delivering her classic friendship tales, varied queer representation with specific focus on asexuality and learning to accept and love yourself. Now go tell your friends you love and appreciate them!

TL:DR

A coming out story, acceptance of self story, I love my friends story.