Spoilery Book Reviews

It Looks Like This by Rafi Mittlefehldt

Back of the book

A new state, a new city, a new high school. And Mike's father has already found a church for the family to attend, even if Mike and his plainspoken little sister, Toby, don't want to go. Mike's dad also wants him to ditch art for sports, to toughen up, and there's something uneasy behind his demands. Everything changes when Mike meets Sean, and a simple "hey" turns into games of basketball, partnering on a French project, hanging out after school. A night at the beach. The fierce colours of sunrise. But Mike's father is always watching. And so is Victor from school, cell phone in hand.

My thoughts

I wanted to like this book, because I have a soft spot for gay love stories, but my memory of it being less-than-great was accurate. I had hoped my memory was faulty but indeed, it's the book that does not deliver. In 2024, a difficult coming out story complete with going to conversion camp and fellow gay friend dying because of bullying, does not feel relevant. At least in my utopian version of the world. To be fair on the book it was published in 2016, but I just don't have an appetite for this type of story anymore. There were also legitimate writing complaints I have, not just theme complaints.

The writing is very basic, feels cold and detached from the narrative, and was boring to read. The beginning felt like a biography originally written as a list then squashed into a paragraph. It did not seamlessly set the scene, but tediously explained the backstory details, slowly introduced us to the present day, and still had no events to make it interesting. The tone choice could be to emphasise traits of the main character, but you shouldn't try to write a story about a boring character in a boring way. (Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine is an example I can think of for a "boring" character with very set routines, but written in a fantastically engaging tone.)

Another choice of the author was to not include speech punctuation. I feel strongly that punctuation was invented to make reading easier, and removing it makes for a less enjoyable reading experience. I did not enjoy this artistic choice.

So what actually happens in the book despite the writing being boring? Not a lot. Mike moves interstate, but he's never that torn up about leaving his friends so moving isn't a big event. He makes friends at the new school, hangs out with one of them more than the others. This one friend, Sean, he has a sleepover with, goes to the beach at night, they run in the water naked, give each other handjobs, then continue pretending they are just friends. The next time they have the chance to go to the beach together, one of their classmates records them making out, tells both their parents. Mike gets sent to conversion camp, which is just highly uncomfortable. In a 300 page book, this action doesn't happen until about page 200 which was a lot of pages to get the message across our character is unremarkable and boring.

During the conversion camp scenes there was a chance for the book to have a redeeming quality with a side character Liz. Liz attempted to show gay is okay but she was kicked out so the message and portrayal that life could be lived differently was evicted before it could impact the story too much. Mike runs away from camp, finds out Sean is dead, and that's what it takes for his parents (just his Mum) to realise a gay kid is better than a dead kid. I understand the moral is supposed to be touching and sappy but to me it sucks. Gay kid versus dead kid is not a comparison anyone should be making. It shouldn't take someone's gay son DYING from being shunned for you to comprehend that gay is okay.

I don't recommend a read. I do enjoy some sad books, but I had no connection to the characters from the way this was written so I didn't care when Sean died, I was just annoyed and angry. Not a fun story, pushes a message that bare minimum is an improvement over complete silence and being sent to conversion camp. I have no patience for this type of gay story anymore.

TL:DR

A boring and sad gay story where everything is swept under the carpet until someone dies, then the bare minimum is accepted as a happy ending.