Spoilery Book Reviews

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

Back of the book

Eleanor Oliphant leads a simple life. She wears the same clothes to work every day, eats same meal deal for lunch every day and buys the same two bottles of vodka to drink every weekend.

Eleanor Oliphant is happy. Nothing is missing from her carefully timetabled existence. Except, sometimes, everything...

My thoughts

I don't know how to sum up my thoughts and feelings about this book. I thoroughly enjoyed it. My version of the book has some leading questions in the back and I'll answer those instead.

How do you think you would have treated Eleanor if she had been your work colleague?

I'd like to think I would treat her with respect, although I doubt we would be friends. Her manner of interacting with people can be blunt, rude and unfriendly. As a person who is not greatly extroverted, this would discourage me from attempting further conversations.

How does the novel deal with the idea of grief? Who does Eleanor grieve for?

Eleanor is in denial of her grief, ticking the boxes she feels are required of her to be 'normal' and successful in adulthood. She denies the existence of her sister and denies the death of her mother to avoid grieving for them both.

This novel shows that denying your grief will only get you so far, and has a long lasting negative impact on your life. Facing your grief head on and accepting those feelings might be harder, but allows you to heal fully from it instead of living a half life or falling into maladaptive coping mechanisms.

'If I knew one thing about romance, it was that the perfect moment for us to meet and fall in love would arrive when I least expected it, and in the most charming set of circumstances.' Where do you think Eleanor has culled this idea from and is this sort of romantic ideal harmful or harmless?

General romance tropes in novels, movies and media send this message. I don't think the idea is harmful, but the way Eleanor uses this knowledge is not great. Her desire to find a boyfriend/husband leads to her social horizon widening to allow for more love and connection in her life. The outcome – new friendships – from her stalking are positive, however the way she was led into them was not great. There are easier way to make friends than trying to stalk a singer.

'That's the thing; it's best just to take care of yourself.' Is there truth in this?

There is truth in this. You can't expect someone else to 'fix' you. Other people can support you, take care of some aspects but never all. Your own healing has to come from within. This statement resonates true for me, but the way Eleanor responds to it is by not letting anyone into her life. You can let people into your life and focus on taking care of only yourself.

'I suppose one of the reasons we're able to continue to exist for our allotted span in this green and blue vale of tears is that there is always, however remote it might seem, the possibility of change.' Is this the main theme of the novel? If not, what do you think the themes are?

Loneliness is the main theme of this novel for me. It shows how unwilling we can be to let people reach out to us, because we don't need them, even though we might have room for them to need us. It shows how really little things add up, small acts of kindness, or rude comments. Friendship doesn't have to be big and bold, sleepovers every weekend, knowing eachother since you were five, inseparable. Friendships just require you to be friendly.

Eleanor does embark on change, albeit for the wrong reasons. Her reason for change, does not negate the positive impacts of changes in her life. Where she went wrong was pinning all her hopes and dreams on the singer, because when he let her down, everything else crashed down. She didn't have to let her positive changes fail in the moment the singer failed to be in love with her, but she didn't know another way.

'Grief is the price we pay for love. The price is far too high.' Discuss.

I don't feel the statement is incorrect...just very pessimistic. You don't grieve something you don't love and deeper love equates to deeper grief, but also greater joy. The first part is correct, but stating the price is too high...opens a philosophical can of worms that everyone will view differently depending on their experiences.

Personally, if my options were to never love and never be heartbroken, I'd prefer to pay the price of grief to feel love.

'These days, loneliness is the new cancer - a shameful, embarrassing thing, brought upon yourself in some obscure way.' Do you agree with Eleanor? If so, why? How is loneliness viewed by society?

I do agree with this opinion and feel that society views loneliness in this way. I feel it was accurately described in an earlier quote, where it seems loneliness itself is off-putting to others when attempting to reach out. A person surrounded by people will attract more, a person on their own people avoid that, as if loneliness is catching.

What is the difference between loneliness and being alone? Which of these applies to Eleanor and why?

The only difference is your emotional state. You can be alone without being lonely, because lonely is how you feel emotionally. You can be in a room full of people and feel lonely.

What do you think the future holds for Eleanor and Raymond? How is their relationship portrayed – is it love? And if so, is it romantic love or platonic love?

I really hope their future holds a long lasting friendship because Eleanor really needs that. I don't think their love is romantic. Love shouldn't have to be romantic for someone to want to go above and beyond to make someone else's day. I love platonic love, after reading so many Alice Oseman friendship love books. I want friendship to shine above and beyond on its own without the necessity of romance.