Unlovable ❤

Extricating ❤

YN POV

I was trying to sleep, but after sleeping for the four hours , i was changing side on bed, time to time but sleep was no where to be found. All the things were going on in my mind which was making me restless. I was looking out of the window but today it was also making me suffer more.

The air of this house was making me sick , i feel suffocated here. I want to get out of here, tonight was gloomy , full of sadness, there was no stars in the sky. The darkness was like eating every light of the surrounding, silence was spreaded all over the place, not a single voice can be heard in this horrific silence.

I was afraid of of something, something which can be seen, which can only be felt. Sweat beads form on my  head and i gulped and  immediately removed my gaze from the window.

I sat on the bed and drank the water placed on glass on my bed side. But nothing was making me feel ok. I can hear the voices which was making feel so anxious.

I got up and ran towards window and closed it before putting curtains on it. I put my palm on my ears and tightly clutched it but voices were not stopping, Tears started to feel from my eyes . I sat on the floor, sliding through the wall and brought my knees to my chest tightly hugging myself.

" Oh God, what is happening? " I said breathing heavily. I can't tell anyone what was happening. I have no one here to calm me down. I got up and again chugged down the water but nothing was helping.

My hands were shaking and glass fell down from my hands. I looked at it breathing heavily. It's been two hours since i woke up and my condition was getting worst. I need to get out of here. I went inside my closet and  put my sweatshirt and pants.

As I ran towards the door to wear my slippers, a glass piece stabbed into my feet and i hissed in pain. Blood started to come but i didn't care and ran out of room after wearing my slippers.

Lights of hall were closed as if whole house was mourning death of someone. I went towards the big door and ran out of the house. Without phone, without money, just running without knowing where i was going.

After running for sometimes, i saw the Han river Bridge. I was not feeling well until know, it was making me feel worse. I want to get rid of this feeling. I clutched the hem of my sweatshirt and went towards the bridge slowly.

Bad thoughts were taking over my mind. I got on the bridge and stand at a silent place where not many people were there. I gulped and looked at the calm water and slow waves.

I moved towards the railing closer and my mind was betraying me. I was getting more anxious and i clutched the railing tightly, not knowing what am i going to do.

I looked at water for sometime , standing up on the concrete threshold. I don't know what really i was doing, i was not in my control and it was getting difficult for me to know what was going on with me.

There was no one for me, no place to go, i have no to hug me and tell me that every thing will be fine. I will get over this, i will win the fight i was fighting. There no place where i can feel calm and happy. I was slightly happy and cheerful when hyunsik was there for me.

I wished he didn't do that with me. I wish it was all true, i wish he really loved me just like i loved him. Hyunsik was my happy place, his company makes feel cheerful. Why do he have to do this? I asked myself. What wrong i did with him?