Unlovable ❤

So called family 🖤

YN POV

I woke up with a pain in my elbow as i sleeping on that side. Blood was oozing out of the band aid. I think , i had hurt me hard this time. Never mind, humilation was also hard to digest yesterday.

I got up from bed and noticed blood on my tshirt. I look at the photo frame on the side table of my bed and smiled a little. That photo is of my beautiful mother, who is in heaven now.

I took the frame in my hand caresed it lovingly. She died because of a tumor, when i was 10 years old. She was the only person in this world, who loved me, other than her no one really loved or cared. Since I was born i never felt what love is, I have no hope in love . Nobody cared, if i live or die. It would be better for them if i die.

My mom was never the first choice of my dad. He was forcefully arranged into this marriage by his mother, even my grandma know he was in love with someone else and had an illegitimate son too, still she ruined my mother's life by telling my maternal grandparents all the lie she could.

I know what happened to my dad was wrong but atleast he could have shown some humanity and sympathy with my mom, who left her everything for him.

No one was happy in that marriage, my dad never touched my mom for one year, he never talked to her, always on his so called business trip or with that lover of his. My mom tried every possible way to save her relationship and make it work but their one sided relationship never worked and stayed like a barren land.

One night dad came back all drunk and saw my mom sleeping and lust took over him and even my mom didn't resist him as he was her love and she always craved for his love and that night they got intimate for first and last time in their life.

After few weeks dad got to know about my mom pregnancy and he thought , he decieved his first love by touching another woman. He seperated her room from his and came after she slept and left before she wake up. She used to live alone,eat alone and take care of her alone in that important period of time. He always try not to face her and stay away from her as much as he can.

My mom used to cry clutching her belly, which had me inside. She never thought her life would turn into a hell, all she ever wished for love and that's the only thing she never got.

After 9 months she gave birth to me and her hope of love reborn. She cherish me with her everything, she brought me everything which i ever wished for. After knowing the news my birth my dad nit even reached the hospital to see his wife and new born baby.

My mom was alone with my maternal grandparents and me, not having her husband by her side to adore her or say any sweet words. She was crying on her fate and mine to get a person like him. My maternal grandparents asked her to stay with them but she never agreed. She stayed in that hell which was nothing but a lifeless house with no love, no care and no words.

After few days, mom got discharged and reached to her husband's house. He was sitting on couch smoking. He didn't pay a attention to her and his new born daughter. He didn't even glance at us. I usually think how much he hate us? Why do he hate us? What we ever did to him?

I grew up day by day and he never cared about us . He was busy enjoying his life whereas we were each other's everything. I craved for his love and tried to talk to him but he never reciprocated. He never hurt us physically but he treated us as if we invisible, as if we were never in his world.