Shadows in a Window // Luke Hemmings

chapter 10 • love

"So you can do something right?" Ryan mocks me as he rolls his eyes and I place the pizza down in front of him.

I give him a small smile, unable to reply in any other way as I turn around to clean up the mess he made earlier when he threw his meal at the wall.

After cleaning up the food I head upstairs for a much needed shower. The warm water soothes my tense body and takes away the aching. All I can think of the whole time that I'm in the shower is Luke and what he found out tonight. He knows what Ryan is capable of and that's a dangerous thing for both of us. Luke is such a nice person and I just know that he is going to try and help me but in doing so he doesn't realise how much worse he's going to make the situation. Now I'm not only scared for myself but I'm also scared for Luke. God only knows what Ryan will do to Luke if he finds out anymore.

I didn't realise how long I was in the shower for until the water startes to turn cold. I turn off the taps and dry off my body, I wrap the towel tightly around my body as I walk out of the bathroom and towards the bedroom.

"Putting on a show for me are you?" Ryan slyly asks which startles me.

He's laying on the bed with a beer in his hand as he closely watches me. I walk over to my wardrobe and pull out some pyjamas, I close the draw and turn to walk back towards the bathroom to get changed but I'm stopped.

"Stay." Ryan firmly speaks making me freeze on the spot.

I look over at him with a worried look as a grin grows in his face.

"Go on." He adds as he motions his beer at me to get changed exactly where I am standing.

I shakily place my cloths on the dresser behind me and comply to Ryan's demand.

"Drop the towel." He tells me and I do exactly what he says.

As the white towel hits the ground so do my tears. I quickly pull on my underwear to try and cover my body but as I go to clip up my bra I fumble with it. I finally get the clip done before I pull on a pair of pyjama shorts and reach for my hoodie but as I pick it up I silently curse to myself.

"Who's is that?" Ryan asks in a low voice.

"Who's is what?" I ask him nervously as I throw the hoodie on the ground and turn around to face him.

"Don't act stupid Jessy. It's not mine, so who's is it?" Ryan ask as he gets up out of bed and walks over to where I am standing.

He picks up the hoodie and examines it as his eyes furrow together.

"So who's is it?" Ryan asks once again.

I take a deep breath and look up at him as I prepare myself for the worst.

"It's Luke's." I sigh as I watch his face change.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Ryan screams as he throws the hoodie across the room before turning to face me.

"Ryan I'm sorry." I sob.

"Sorry won't cut it Jessy!" He yells at me.

He takes a few steps back from me and for a minute I think he's going to just walk away but he doesn't. He walks back towards me and with all his strength he pushes me back. I fall onto the hard floor and curl up into a ball afraid.

"You little slut!" Ryan spits as me.

"You can have sex with him in my bed but you can't even have sex with me without crying like a little girl!" He yells.

"I didn't have sex with him. I just borrowed some of his cloths when I stayed at his house because mine were ripped up!" I scream at Ryan which surprises me because never have I stood up to him before.

"I don't believe you Jessy. You're full of lies. How can I believe anything you say ever again?" He asks me as anger rages through his veins.

"I'm telling the truth." I plea to him.

"How can I be sure of that?" He yells as me.

"B-because I love you Ryan ok. That's why I'm still here. Every time you beat me up, abuse me or rape me I always come back and it's because I love you." I cry.

As hard as it is to admit, I do. Everyday I still hold onto the tiniest bit of hope that the old Ryan will return and heal all my pain, that he'll come home with flowers and chocolates, he'll cook the dinner and he'll make me feel safe.

He stares at me for a second as he thinks of something to say.

"If you loved me you wouldn't be sneaking behind my back with some guy." He finally speaks up.

"I do love you." I pathetically sob.

At this moment Ryan walks over to my shaking body and crouches down next to it.

"You ever touch another man again and I'll kill you." Ryan tells him in an angry tone.

"You here me?" He yells in my face which startles me.

I simply nod at his question as he gets up to his feet. He spits at me before grabbing his beer off the bedside table and walking out of the room.