Shadows in a Window // Luke Hemmings

chapter 13 • unpredictable

"How was your day?" Luke asks me as I lock the door of the bathroom and turn on the running water.

"It was ok. I just cleaned up, didn't do much else. What did you get up to?" I reply as I allow myself to relax and become vulnerable, something that I've not allowed myself to do for some time now.

"Me and the boys had band practice today, started writing a new song...and I also met Calum's girlfriend." He tells me.

"What's her name?" I ask, making small talk.

"Her name is Annie. She's a bit of a head case." He says making me giggle.

"Why's that?"

"She's just a little ditsy and very affectionate...it's kind of disgusting." He tells me as I smile.

The line falls silent for a moment as we both are taken away in our own thoughts.

"So what did you get up to last night after we finished talking?" He asks me as I sigh, I've been trying to avoid this conversation all night.

"Not much." I softly speak.

"Jessy, I know I haven't known you for that long but I know you well enough to know when you're lying." He tells me.

It's so true though. There's no other person in this world who knows me as much as he does and no one who cares about me as much as he does.

"Jessy, you still there?" He asks me since I haven't replied yet.

"Yeah I am." I answer.

"I miss you...I haven't seen you for agers." Luke says which shocks me.

"Don't say that." I quickly speak up.

"Why?"

"Because you can't."

"But I do."

"Luke please stop." I plea with him.

"Sorry." He apologised as I sigh.

The truth is I miss him too but I can't. I can't let myself miss him because if I do then that means I have feelings for him and I'm so scared of what Ryan will do if he finds out.

"I better get going." I finally speak up.

"Ok." He sighs.

"I'll call you tomorrow." He adds.

"Same time?" I ask.

"Tomorrow at ten."

"Goodnight Luke." I softly speak.

"Goodnight Jessy." He answers before the phone call ends.

~~~~~~~~~

I woke up at 6am and walk downstairs to make Ryan his breakfast. For once we had all the right ingredients so I decided to make him pancakes.

The smell of the pancakes cooking made my stomach grumble but I knew if I ate in front of Ryan he'd call me something degrading.

As his footsteps echo down the hallway I take a deep breath and brace myself for the unthinkable.

"Good morning." I greet him as I put on a fake smile.

"Morning." He answers me with a kiss to the cheek which takes me by surprise.

His sweet gesture is so foreign and I don't know how to react to it.

"I made you pancakes." I tell him as I plate up the breakfast for him and place it down in front of him.

"Aren't you going to have some too?" He asks me which shocked me even more.

"W-what?"

"You must be hungry and there's plenty of pancakes for the both of us." He tells me as I give him a smile before putting a few pancakes on a plate for me.