Murder, Talk no Jutsu and Other Easy Solutions

What in the Hell?

"Yeah Dad, I'm doing fine. No, no one's bothered me. Living with Blitz and Stolas has been fun, and Octavia and Loona are cool. Blitz's employees are really cool, too. Their names are Millie and Moxxie... yes they are a couple. Yes, Millie is a girl. Yes, Millie is on top. I don't see how any of this is relevant to the conversation, Dad. Yeah yeah, I love you too. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Tell Mom I love her. Same with Uncle Husk and Uncle Al. Oh, and don't forget Auntie Charlie. Yes, I know she worries about me. I'll call her later and tell her I'm doing fine. I'll call you again tomorrow. Yeah, bye.", Maria said with a small smile, before hanging up on her Dad. She leaned forward onto the railing of her room's balcony, a small smile on her face as she admired the red scenery of the city before her.

Maria had been living at Stolas's palace for a few months now. It had been a hard decision to move away from her parents and the rest of the people she loved as family, but it had been one she had been willing to make. She had seen most of hell, but she wanted to see the human world too. And what better way was there to do that than join up with I.M.P?

Becoming an assassin hadn't been the hard part of her choice. She liked her work. It was exhilarating, and Blitz was an excellent teacher in Murder 101. Maria sighed fondly as she glanced over to the right, where Imp City laid in her view. She still remembered when she had met one of her closest friends.

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Eleven years earlier

Maria had met Blitz when she was little. She had been at one of her Auntie Charlie's parent's fancy galas, stuck in a cute pink suit her Dad had been gushing over, hiding under a table with a plate of horderves and a champagne flute of soda, scrolling through her Dad's Pentrest as she tried not to let the classical music the band was playing put her to sleep. Then, out of nowhere, an imp she had never seen before poked his head under the table cloth. He looked surprised by Maria's presence, but Maria barely acknowledged him

"Ah Christ on a stick.", he cursed, then nearly jumped out of his skin when a posh, overly fancy voice called out for him. It sounded like a Goetia, given the accent.

"Oh Blitzy!~", the voice called out. That was all it took for the imp to scramble under the table.

"Move over, kid. I got a thirsty owl of a date to hide from.", he said. Maria scooched over a little bit, and offered him some crab cakes.

"Hungry?", she asked. The imp took three and shoved them in his mouth without a word.

"Why are you hiding?", she asked innocently. The imp looked down at her with a dry, unamused expression and pointed at the table cloth shielding them from the outside world.

"What, did you not hear me? What part of 'thirsty owl' do you not get?!", he hissed at the pink haired girl, trying to be too loud. Maria just blinked at him.

"If he wants something to drink, there are waiter-imps with drinks outside.", she stated politely, but her imp companion just gave her a dry look, finally realizing his innuendos made zero sense to her.

"Right. You're like, what? Five? Six?", he guessed. Maria shook her head.

"I'm seven.", she told him. The imp rolled his eyes.

"Is that so.", he said, but he wasn't asking. Maria took a sip of her drink, and smiled. She had decided she was going to make a new friend.

"I'm Maria. What's your name?", she asked. The imp blinked at her, before rolling his eyes and thinking 'what the hell?'. He gave her a business smile and held a hand out for her to shake.