Crawling back to you (Hozier's version)

10: Is It Even Good For My Head To Keep Track?

the title is, of course, by yet another great twenty one pilots song, 'snap back'. the lines to focus on here are: 'got a bad feeling that i'm about to break / been a good streak but the pressure's overweight / is it even good for my head to keep track?'
- - -

Imagine this:

You fall in love with someone, and not just anywhere or anyone, but an angel you meet before the Beginning of the Earth and half the Universe.

You meet each other a few times in the span of 6000 years on Earth, now on opposite sides, and after a while he doesn't hate you as much, but he still thinks it's wrong to go so far as to like you.

The two of you prevent Armageddon because you've grown rather fond of your life on Earth together, and now you're on your own side. Alone but together.

Or so you think, because, really, the jokes on you, and a few years later, you meet the guy who told your only friend to 'shut his stupid mouth and die already.' He also happens to be your best friend's former boss. And your former colleague.

You don't like him. You can show him that now.

But the son of a bitch doesn't remember why you're a dick. Doesn't remember why you hate him as much as you do.

So, I guess, the joke's on you again, because as it turns out, that guy's fallen in love with your former boss. Just had his memories conveniently stored away. You almost start laughing, they're on opposite sides, the very thing that made them want to execute you and your friend. And they run off together. The irony.

Still, you forgive - because now you finally see your chance and take it after over 6000 fucking years of pining. Guess what your guy does? He rejects you and runs back to Heaven, despite both of your shitty relationships with Heaven.

But your friend, he has the most toxic one; the on-off, shitty parent kinda thing. You just despise them and everything they stand for.

So now, you're alone. And you've been offered a higher rank in Hell - and you take the promotion because your friend's not gonna return anyway, but the joke's on you again, because he does come back from Heaven and now both of you have to hide from Heaven and Hell.

Sounds relatable? Wow, rough, man! Well, this Anthony J. Crowley guy and me are fucking sorry for you. Get some therapy.

"I don't think is a good idea, Crowley." Aziraphale said, voice high-pitched as he followed behind Crowley, struggling a bit to keep up with him.

"I know you can't, but trust me with this one." The angel let ten quiet moments pass because he couldn't tell if Crowley was mocking him with that answer or if he was just absolutely pissed. It seemed to be a healthy mix of both.

"Crowley, really-" but he was cut off by Crowley shoving him against one of those disgusting walls, his hand gripping his collar, like he'd done before.

"You really can't shut up for just a second, can you? Just so you know, I have every right to be a dickhead to you after so many years of hating myself for my feelings for you; just so you can act like we've known each other for five minutes all of a sudden. I said trust me. So either do or don't."

Aziraphale hated that he couldn't make out Crowley's eyes properly. The demon's shaky voice and hand were very clear in contrast, though.

"So don't answer, fine." Crowley let go of him, continuing down the hallway. "I'm still the one saving you again," he scoffed, making sure Aziraphale would be able to hear it.