Tell Me I'm Alive

Braids and Kisses

Seungmin interrupts the sounds of everyone chowing down to announce, "While you were gone, we decided we are going to play Truth or Dare." He glances at Hyunjin and Jeongin, making sure they are in the loop. "So, who should start?"

"Channie-hyung!" Jeongin shouts, pointing at the leader.

"Why me?"

"You old man."

"Yah!" He grumbles for a moment and sends me another one of those pointed looks: you see what I go through? "I guess I'll start. Innie, truth or dare?"

Jeongin seems taken aback by the reverse uno Chan just pulled, but quickly recovers. "Dare!"

A collection of ooo's echo around the room and Changbin shouts, "Brave Baby Bread!"

Chan contemplates for a moment with his finger tapping his lips and I'm transfixed for a moment. "I dare you to hug one of us for ten seconds." He aims for Innie's aversion to physical affection towards his members but I see the gleam in Jeongin's eyes.

He stands up and makes his way over to me. My eyes are locked on his own, unable to look away. He places his empty plate on top of mine on the table and bends to wrap his arms around me. I return the hug and we wait as Seungmin counts down from ten.

"That's not what I meant!" Chan whines at his plan being foiled.

"You didn't specify who. That's your fault, hyung." Felix so helpfully supplies. "Be more clear next time."

Chan pouts as Jeongin returns to his seat and decides on who his victim will be. He glances at everyone before locking eyes with Hyunjin, "Hyung, truth or dare?" Hyunjin chooses truth and Jeongin continues in Korean. Han translates for me: who is your favorite member?

Hyunjin pretends to ponder for a moment and everyone sends him puppy dog eyes except for Seungmin and Jeongin. Changbin even takes it a step farther and winks at him. After making a disgusted face, Hyunjin clearly proclaims, "Felix is my favorite!"

"Aw, thanks Jinnie!" Felix gives him a side hug and he returns it before turning to Minho who chooses dare.

"Hyung, dance God's Menu to Thunderous music, chorus only."

Minho scoffs, his expression saying what he isn't: is that all? Minho stands in the space between the beds and Chan begins playing Thunderous right before the first chorus. It doesn't even take Lee Know a beat to begin dancing. All I can do is sit there in awe at his precision and body control. The way he moves to the tempo is insane and every dance move is on beat. After he finishes, there's a self-satisfied smirk on his face. Everyone claps, mesmerized by his impromptu performance. After a moment, Minho asks in his accent, "Nana, truth or dare?"

To be completely honest, I was hoping my first turn would be anyone else but Minho, yet here we are. I think carefully, knowing that he isn't afraid to be direct. Would it be better to choose truth and have to answer a really personal question? Or should I take a chance and possibly get an outrageous dare?

I decide I'd rather reveal my personal life than be daring. It feels more brave that way too. Besides, this game was chosen so the guys could get to know me better. "Truth."

Instead of asking me a question in English, he turns to Chan and asks it in Korean. Chan repeats what he says in English, "Have you ever been in a relationship?" There's a tint of pink creeping up his cheeks and spreading to his ears. "You don't have to answer that if you don't feel comfortable. We'd all understand." He sends a glare Lee Know's way.

"I honestly thought it would be worse." I chuckle awkwardly, cringing before I even get the next words out of my mouth, "No, I haven't had a relationship." There's a chorus of What?! No way! and other similar statements. "It's true, I haven't even had my first kiss yet. I guess that's the price of being the awkward, weird girl of the group." I shrug my shoulders like it's no big deal. Though honestly, it's hard to feel so unwanted. My sister was always the one with a boyfriend. I don't think she's ever gone more than a few months without one since we were twelve.