Poems when I have overwhelming feelings

Escape

I need an escape, something to help because nothing makes sense, my mind races all day and night because nothing ever makes sense. My body makes no sense, my mind makes no sense, my thighs make no sense, my problems make no sense.. the only thing that can help is an escape. An escape from everything that makes no sense.

Writing is my escape. Lightning is my escape. Medication is my escape.

As my empty prescribed medicine bottle lay around my room i wonder, i wonder, i wonder. Why doesn't anything make sense? Except writing and lightning, of course... Medication is a funny thing because nothing about it makes sense. Medication makes you feel like more things make sense than there are things that don't.

My heart aches for someone to become a new escape, my new toxic addiction. I hope someone finds me before I am broken beyond repair.. My escapes aren't reliable, they can be taken at any moment and then, I would be left scrambling for more. My escapism isn't good, it may seem like a coping mechanism but it's a cry for help.

Help is what I need.. but those around me don't seem to think so. Even my mother thinks that I am healed enough to end my therapy and that I am suddenly fixed. Of course, the week after I end therapy my mental health is already worse than when I started therapy. My life has gone to shit and now I need to find another escape.

My current distractions are starting to lose their effect on me. Like an overused drug, my body and mind got too used to the feeling. My escapes have stopped working.. what will I do.. Save me.. Help me.. Rescue me.. I am lost and defenseless against my own mind and body.