The King's Court

XXXII

He looked at me and I saw not only his eyes but the stars and everything that shines. It all compressed together in his gaze as he heard me mutter those words. The words I failed to voice out the last time I said them. And god, I loved the way he looked at me. Like I was the center of the universe. And that even with all those bright things around him, I was the one who shone the brightest.

Nikolas looked at me as though he couldn't believe he was finally hearing those words. In the dimly lit room, I could clearly see how his eyes widened in surprise. It wasn't the first time I said the words. I've said it before but it was too late then. But now, before I go, I want to tell him. I wanted him to hear. 

He said it haunted him when he was sleeping and when he was awake. It haunted him how they were the last words I said before I went back and he wasn't even aware I was not there anymore. So now I am telling him so it would be a bittersweet memory. For him. For us. 

He caressed my face once again before he smiled. I have already memorized his face. I've had it tattooed inside my head. But I still feel like I need to know more. I need to know every detail--how his lips curl up when he's amused, how his brows raise when he's curious, and how he gives that incredulous stare when he's in disbelief. I want to memorize it all. I want to drink a lot of the details that could last me a lifetime. 

"Say it again," he said, almost in a whisper as he leaned and pressed his forehead on mine. 

He held me close and I did the same. Then I angled my head and kissed the side of his mouth as I said the words again. Over and over until we both lay on the bed and I was still whispering the words.

***

Nagising ako dahil may mabigat sa tiyan ko. I opened my eyes and it was when I realized that Nikolas had slept in my chamber. On my bed.  

Tiningnan ko siya habang natutulog pa. His hair was ruffled and they looked so soft kaya naman hindi ko natiis at hinawakan ko ito. I slipped right through my fingers. I continued holding it and figured I still have a lot of time to do so lalo pa at hindi pa sumisikat ang araw. Sa pagkakaalam ko, mamaya pa kami aalis, pagsikat ng araw. 

I was about to slide my fingers through his hair again when he held my wrist, stopping me. Then he opened his eyes and he smiled. The boyish grin looked good on him. He looked younger and he looked so un-King-ly. Not many people could see this side of him. 

"Good morning," I greeted, voice still a bit hoarse. 

He let out a soft chuckle before he replied, "Good morning." 

"Should we get up and prepare?" I asked, not wanting to get up, honestly but we have more urgent matters at hand. 

"Yes, in fact, I think you two should get up and prepare," said a voice in the corner of my chamber dahilan para mapabalikwas ako ng bangon at napatingin sa gawi ng pinanggalingan ng boses. 

It was Leon, sitting on the settee with one leg crossed over the other. 

"What the heck are you doing in here? How did you even get in?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko. 

How long has he been there? But judging from the look on his face, I guess he'd been there for a long time. He had to witness that cheesy morning greeting me and Nikolas shared. Bigla naman akong pinamulahan ng mukha. 

Leon jerked his thumb to the open windows and then he said, "I was looking for my dear brother in his chamber but he wasn't there. I saw his open windows and when I checked, your chamber windows were open too. You two were conveniently situated next to each other so I knew he was here. And alas, I was right."