Cameo 🖤
3:17 am
I got back around 3:10 and I was now quietly vomiting my stomach out, in the bathroom.
Mi nuh know wah really motivate mi fi guh drink again, like mi neva learn the first time.
I rinsed the disgusting taste out my mouth and began my facial routine, I use to successfully take all my makeup off, leaving my skin completely bare and clean.
I put my bonnet over my neatly done head and unstrapped my corset, until it's easy to pull from around my waist. The skirt drops to my thighs, since it no longer had the support to hold it up and I prepped myself to get ready for a warm, nice bath.
I checked the temperature of the water before stepping and getting in the tub. It's been long since I've had a proper relaxing time to myself and now seemed like a good time to do so.
With my eyes half closed, I rest back and thought about the info, I found out earlier.
His father's dead.......
Mi know how hard it is fi lose a fadda, since I lost mine, two years ago when I was seventeen. I feel like the only difference between our situation is that his father was killed while mine died naturally from heart disease.
My father's death was bound to happen, James death was intentional and that's why mi feel like Odaine have some resentment somewhere in his heart.
And mi hope him nuh do sumn stupid all in the name a revenge, suh mi need fi talk to him bout dat lata.
That's if he even listens to me.
Mi also need fi tell him bout di baby.
Di baby
Although it's been months since I've had a miscarriage, the feeling of guilt hasn't bulged one bit. I know it's not my fault, but I can't help but feel like it is.
I should have known about the pregnancy and just maybe I could have avoid the faith forced upon the innocent child
I should have known.
I sighed and relaxed my body in the warm water "Mi need fi meditate."
In a quiet, comfortable and dim place, Mi need fi have a reasoning with mi self and what exactly mi wah in dis relationship because everything isn't going according to my plan.
How do we move from getting engaged, to him getting shot, to us losing a baby, to him losing his father, to me being in Fiji for five months, to him showing up out of nowhere.
How?
6:15 am
Hearing Kenzo's low cries, I walked pass his sleeping father and took him from out his midsize crib "Kenny, look how him tired and him nuh do nth."
I was being tempted to kick him off the bed, but I decided to just leave him alone
I put kenzo to lay on his back, cleaned him up and changed him from out his dirty pampers. I then disposed of the dirty pampers and washed my hands.
"Let's go and get my baby sumn fi eat." I said exiting the room and teleporting downstairs, to the kitchen
Enzo has a huge appetite, which I'm sure he got from me so, I wasn't really surprise when I saw the bowl I left half-filled with mash potatoes now empty and spotless beside the other plates.
I put on some water and shared the right amount of formula in a bottle.
I throw the barely warm water out in the bottle, held the nipple with a small piece of napkin and shook until it was all mixed in well enough to feed him with.
