Interview book: 9026
Interview author: @Wind_Proof
Interview character: 9026
1. To start us off, how old are you?
21, does it matter?
2. Tell us something nobody knows about you?
I enjoy dodging stupid questions.
3. What is something that people hate about you?
I have a tendency to kill people.
4. What are your strengths?
I'm handy with literally any kind of weapon you can name. I'm also good at reading people.
5. What are your weaknesses?
My soft underbelly.
6. What do you usually do for fun?
Talk to myself.
7. Who is your other half?
...... next question...
8. Say three words that describe you.
Defiant.
9. What do others think of you?
Until they hate me enough to want to kill me it really doesn't matter does it?
10. Do you have any siblings?
Hell if I know.
11. How old do you think you'll be when you get married?
I honestly think I'll be face down in a pool of my own blood before that ever happens.
12. Do you speak any other languages?
Yes.
13. What is your occupation?
Hitman I guess?
14. How would you describe your childhood in general?
Just the right amount of brutal.
15. Where did you learn your skills when you were younger?
From the people who taught them to me.
16. What is your biggest regret?
............
17. What is your biggest fear?
Not dying.
18. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or un acceptable?
I'll kill a guy in a fair fight. Or if I think he's going to start a fair fight. Or his back is turned. Or I'm getting paid. Or someone ask me to. Or if they try and kill me. Or I think they might try to kill me.
19. In your opinion what is the most evil thing a human can do?
Take advantage of a woman or talk in the movie theater.
20. Who do you turn to when life gets rough.
That would imply there are easy days.
21. What goal do you want to accomplish most in your life?
There is someone I really want to find....
22. If you were to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you have left.
Scarlett Johansson. Jennifer Lawrence. Cobie Smulders.
23. Where were you born?
Oh hell if I know, does it really matter at all?
24. Where do you live? Describe it.
Wherever I happen to be.
25. When was the last time you saw your family?
When I was born probably.
26. What song best describes you?
Thirteen... By Johnny Cash
27. What annoys you more than anything else?
Interviews and cowards. I once met a cowardly interviewer. I shot him.
28. Do you think the future is hopeful? Why?
No. You are going to die. Embrace that.
29. What advice would you give to lovers?
Always wear gloves. Aim for the nose. Don't ask a hitman for advice. Don't use a small caliber bullet on a large caliber man.
30. What advice would you give to admirers?
Always spray ammonia on the blood. On a totally unrelated note, never force a cat through a fine mesh screen.
Seriously.
Don't.
YOU ARE READING
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