Still don't know

Sick

At the hospital, they put that mask thingy that my mom also has in her wardrobe. It's magical. Thanks to its presence as it's stuck to my face, I can breathe again. But I still can't seem to make my fingers straighten. The nurse comes and goes, conducting a check up i hardly care about. Even as I sit in this rough cold chair as dizzy as ever, my eyes search for one person and he's the only one I can't seem to find. Disappointed, I relax trying to ignore the weird feeling in my chest that has nothing to do with this attack. I look around again wondering how I have this many people on me. Some even crying. I tighten my hold on Maya and Miranda's hands reassuring them that I'm okay. Why are they crying. I'm perfectly fine. Too much of India or Korea is not good for you.

Though this thought made my smile, I couldn't help notice that another dear friend was missing.
............

"You are not going"Maya says. Pointedly looking at me. "How can you say you're going to study right after this."

"Oh come on. It's been a whole day already" I woke up early today. It's a weekend . And even if everyone says i need more rest,including Derrick. I strongly disagree. I've rested for way too long. I laid on bed through out doing nothing. Aside from bathing and eating and other unnecessary stuff.

"Already. We saw you Amie. You looked so sick and you still do. I won't stop you from going but I seriously don't think you should."

"Please. I promise you,nothing will happen. I'll be extra careful. I'll have my medicine and put on my face mask."

"Fine. You can go. But one of us has to come with you" yes. She's relented. Ever since I fell sick. Everyone has been acting like I'm gonna break any second.

"No one has to come." I don't want to spoil their schedule but i know I'm going nowhere otherwise.I can't even deny. Maya is giving me the scary look. I look down and play with my fingers suddenly finding them interesting.

..........

As we enter class, I can't help the smile that is obviously plastered on my face as I walk toward Derrick. I also can't help the weird butterfly feeling in my tummy.

"Hello there beautiful girl. What's your name" He greets me like he has never seen me before. He makes my smile wider but I don't show it. Instead, I portray annoyance telling him to stop it. He persists

"Stop what?"

"Come on Derrick. Stop acting like you don't know me"

"Acting ? I'm not an actor. I honestly have never seem you before." He says it so well that for a second my naive self buys his acts.

And I'm saying other people watch too much movies. Curse you Zee world.

He bursts out laughing. A sound that penetrates deep within me. I couldn't help stare at the dimple he frequently is oblivious of.

"Come here. Sit down before you pass out." I hold back the urge to smack him as i settle down on the seat.

"Thanks Sofie" i say to Sophia. A very close friend of Maya's . She's very nice. We became very close friends. She admitted to wanting to be friends since a long time ago so we tried but I guess we don't really click. Derrick and Sophia do not get along. Which is why she does not even bother staying behind after being my escort for the day. Friends. It's nice of them but now it just leaves me feeling guilty.

"You just had to come out." Derrick complains. "Not you too, I'm fine now and I promise to take care." I debate

We spend the rest of the day story telling. It turns out him and Brandon did try to go. But by the time they arrived at the hospital, we had already been dismissed. Poor Brandon. He had complained that I was talking stupidly about dying and then I come and pass out. Derrick said the boy slept earlier than usual and woke up sick.
I make a mental note to apologize to him.

Derrick walks me to the hostel making sure I'm at the door step before finally turning back to leave. He took care of me the whole day. Making sure I eat, keeping me far from hazards and pampering me.

How can I not like someone that's always there for me.
I push these thoughts and feelings far away to where ever they came from. I cannot afford this.