Fantasize

Chapter 2: #Goingcray-cray

Matilda Bradley

It has been a week since my first meeting with Alexander, and I can't seem to control my feelings. I've tried to distract myself, I've tried to bury the feelings deep down inside of me, but it's no use. They keep coming back, keep gnawing away at my heart, my thoughts, my mind.

Alexander is always on my mind, always popping into my thoughts, always invading my daydreams. It's like an infestation, a plague that I can't get rid of.

I keep telling myself that it's wrong, that I'm being a terrible friend, that I'm betraying Eleanor. But no matter how hard I try to fight it, I can't seem to control my feelings.

He is just too goddamn attractive. His deep brown eyes, his curly black hair, his tall and strong body.

Every time I am around him, I can't help but stare at him, and my heart races so fast that I can't help but blush when I look at him. I know it is wrong to like him when he is in a happy relationship with my best friend, but I just can't help it.

His smile makes me melt, his laughter makes me smile. When he talks, I feel like I am hypnotized by his deep voice and his smooth tone. His presence is like a magnet, and I feel like I am being pulled toward him like I am being hypnotized by him. It is a nightmare, a nightmare that I can't escape from.

"Why do you like me Mat? Why me?

There are so many other better-looking guys out there..." Alexander said in a soft tone, his eyes locked onto me, his voice soothing. I felt like I was being hypnotized by him, felt like I was being enchanted by him. It was a nightmare, a nightmare that I couldn't escape from.

"I-I don't know..." I started to say, but couldn't finish my sentence. I felt like I was losing myself like I was losing my grip on reality. It was a panic attack, a rush of adrenaline and anxiety that was taking over my body.

"You don't have to say anything Mat," Alexander said in a soft tone, his voice soothing, his words like a spell that was casting me under his control. "All I want you to know," Alexander added, his voice getting a little bit louder, his words sounding more and more like a spell that was casting me under his control. "All I want you to know," Alexander emphasized, his voice a little bit louder still, his words sounding like a spell that was casting me under his control completely. "All. I. Want. You. To. Know," Alexander emphasized one more time, his voice thundering, his words sounding like a spell that was completely casting me under his control.

"All I want you to know," Alexander emphasized for one last time, his voice sounding like a shout, his words sounding like a final chant that was casting me completely under his control. "Is that I am yours, Mat," Alexander said, his words sounding like a final incantation that was casting me completely under his control.

"MAT!" I finally snapped back to reality.

"Oh! E-Eleanor! When did you a-arrive in my apartment!?" I was panicking as I speak.

"Seriously? We're roommates did you forget it?" She said in a sarcastic tone.

"Oh... right..."

GOD DAMNIT

"Are you okay or something? You've been acting weird for weeks." Eleanor asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine..." I started to say but didn't finish my sentence. I felt like I was losing myself like I was losing my grip on reality. It was a panic attack, a rush of adrenaline and anxiety that was taking over my body.

"I am just under a lot of stress..." I said in a small tone, my voice trembling, my body trembling. "I-I just have a lot of exams and..."

"Yeah... right." Eleanor started to say, her voice sounding like she didn't believe me.