All The Songs You Never Listened

Chapter 20 "Who am I, anyway?"

~Seven~

24/6/23

The second concert in London was at The O2 arena, it had a capacity of 20k people what wasn't as exciting knowing the attendance records I had. I would give the best of me in every show, no matter if it's a karaoke or a venue with a million people, but as I said earlier, the rush of excitement wasn't the same. We were having low attendance comparing with other concerts of the tour, yesterday we didn't fill London Stadium, 68k people out of the 80k it could hold. I had my hopes on tomorrow, Wembley's stadium could hold 90k fans, we just had to wait and see if we bet some record.

That morning I got dressed with some ripped jeans together with a not-very-discreet belt and a black sleeveless T-shirt, it was actually a merchandising T-shirt from The Roaring 20's, they performed tonight at London Stadium and they were sold out, a personal record for them that brought a couple of extra champagne bottles to their limousine. I was truly happy for them, they deserved every sold out show. Although that meant I was bored, they had to spend the whole day making sure everything was perfect for tonight.

I thought about knocking on Ocean's door and see if he was up to something now that he had some days off but I found a sock on the knob and decided it wasn't such a good idea.

How long would Alexia stay, anyway? My priority has always been getting her away from my brother, I didn't count with her joining us on tour when I paid for her flight ticket. I ended up wandering through the hotel corridors, wearing my original disguise which consisted of a baseball cap and some sunglasses, that and looking down to my feet incredibly prevent people from recognizing me.

The permanent thought of why did I lose time this way having a sophomore album and a song's version to work on echoed throughout the walls of my mind, crashing against the less relevant thoughts that were slowly left behind until my legs moved to an apparently empty room, where I had just decided I would keep composing the version of Over Moi.

Without guitar and just with the sheet of paper that held the few and far between written lyrics, plus a pen I always carried.

The room was big, with large windows which brought a natural lighting to the place. The floor was wooden and the walls painted in white, yet there wasn't a single piece of furniture in the room. It had the potential to be a gym, I thought it when I checked the great acoustic among its four walls.

Kelly's song was very simple, it was full of chorus' repeats, there were just two different stanzas, one at the beginning I had already came out with and one in the middle. I had just started the latter and it was the longest.

You are on my mind
Girl, it's not about day or night
24/7 you give me headache

I sang those verses trying to find the right tone, I loved to sing loudly in a room where the words not only seemed to echo in my head but around me. Singing was liberating, it was an unique way to let everything out, making the ugliest problem sound good. I wasn't able to think about a world without music and my blood boiled to remember there was someone who almost made that nightmare a reality for me.

I came out with a couple of verses more, I was in love with the sound of the electric guitar but I admitted verses sang a capella sounded somehow better in a different league. There were more feelings when it was just the sound of a lonely voice breaking the silence, it was more personal, more pure. That was the reason why I stopped singing songs in public when I used to spend the whole day singing softly in whispers any piece of melody that took over my mind, now I barely hummed if there were people around. I just sang a capella whether I was alone or with my family, maybe there were some timely exceptions with people I considered very close.