No More Good Girl | 18+

Chapter 3 - Doubt

The next morning, Mia awoke in a haze and as she barely opened her puffy eyes, the pain of that motion reminded her of what happened yesterday. This realization brought more tears and she laid back down and cried again.

Mia felt incredibly lost. She had never experienced the grief of losing a close loved one. Moreover, the way Kirill died, on their wedding day, made her think she would never be able to continue her life.

She reached over to look at the time and saw hundreds of notifications on her phone. Missed calls and messages from anyone and everyone, she saw Viv had called and texted many times and closing her eyes, she sat up and tried to steady herself.

His funeral would have to be tomorrow and she was now his widow and responsible for arranging it all.

She knew she had to pull herself together. She was Kirill Alekseev's wife just a few hours ago. Conquering a man like that showed everyone that she was a powerhouse of a woman, she was not going to mope around, she made decisions and followed through.

She called their cleaner Melody and asked her to come in to clean up. She called back her dad and Viv and asked for help setting up the funeral arrangements.

She was not going to let this day go unnoticed. Everyone would know that Kirill's widow was not going to be destroyed by her grief, no, she would rise up in spite of it.

The next day, dressed in a long black dress, medium heels and a small hat with black tulle covering her face, Mia stepped out of the car, alone. Going up the church steps that she just ascending in her wedding dress, Mia felt like she would faint.

How did her life come to this? Two days ago she experienced the event of a lifetime: her wedding. And now...now she was descending into a dark black hole of depression and sorrow.

Nonetheless, she slowly made her way up while people came up to her and expressed their condolences as she went up the stairs.

"I'm so sorry, Mia. Kirill was like brother to me. I'm here for you if you need me." A man with a thick Russian accent picked up her hand and kissed it. Barely looking at him, she nodded and said a quiet thank you and continued on.

As she walked into the church and approached the casket, she began slightly shaking from the anticipation of seeing her new husband lifeless again. Holding on to Viv's hand, she came up to Kirill and put her hand on the side of the casket.

She looked at him and couldn't believe her eyes. She felt her whole body stiffen and fear and adrenaline ran through her veins.

This wasn't him.

Yes, it fully looked like him. His nose, his beautiful lips, gorgeous brown locks and she had kissed this face thousands of times. Yes, it looked like him, but this wasn't him. She stood as if planted to the ground and didn't know what to think. She looked at Viv with wide eyes and asked,

"Is this Kirill?"

Viv looked back at her stunned. She thought her friend was completely losing it.

"Mia. I know, I know this is so hard for you. I'm so sorry." And Viv's eyes filled up with tears as she squeezed Mia's hand and came in for a hug. Mia stood there motionless as Viv hugged her.

Did others not see that this was not him? Or maybe she was actually going crazy? Could she explain why this wasn't him? Not really. It looked very much like him. A great copy, almost an exact clone but she knew this was another man in the coffin.

The service started as hundreds of people piled into the church and more stood outside. Everyone who had come for their wedding was now here at his funeral and more people who didn't make the wedding invite list piled into the church as well.

Mia thought it was lucky that so many people he would have wanted to see at his funeral were here. Lucky? What a strange word to use for this occasion. Absolutely everyone who was anyone, had shown up and was now standing in front of Kirill's casket and witnessing the funeral service by the priest.

Mia couldn't cry as a million thoughts rushed through her head. If this wasn't Kirill, who was this and moreover, where on earth was Kirill?! She saw him die, she saw it with her own eyes, he was shot in the heart, he collapsed in front of her!

Her first thoughts were that there was a mix up at the morgue, maybe they accidentally released the wrong body. However, what were the chances that there was someone else at the morgue that looked exactly like Kirill?

Then she thought that maybe death had changed him and she couldn't recognize him. Yes, that was very plausible. She spent the last two days in a complete haze, blinded by grief. She decided she had to somehow check if it was him, his ample tattoos would be able to help her figure it out.

At the end of the service she asked the priest if she could be alone with Kirill but the priest vehemently denied her request, which put her even more on edge - why wasn't this allowed? It was a church and people grieved. She tried to convince him but he gently explained it was against the church laws.

He looked shaken and like he was trying to keep it together. Mia found it extremely odd, he was a priest who did many funeral services, why did he take Kirill's death so close to heart?

Riding in the car to the cemetery and thinking a mile a minute, Mia knew she only had one chance to check who was in the coffin and she had to be alone, no witnesses.

She leaned over to the driver and commanded him to get the funeral director on the phone. She somehow convinced the poor soul to pull the hearse over and as both cars pulled up to the side of the road, she jumped out and rushed toward the hearse.

"Ma'am, I'm so sorry but this is not allowed, you cannot-" the funeral director tried convincing her.

"Stop talking!" Mia shouted and interrupted him. "Open the casket." She ordered.

The funeral director stood there not moving. He looked like a man who wasn't sure of what to do, clearly never coming up against this kind of brazen behaviour before.

"Open it now, or I will do it myself." Her resolve was made of steel.

The casket was taken out and opened right there on the side of the road with cars rushing by. Mia approached the body and looked at the man who was supposed to be Kirill. Yes, this really did look like him.

A wave of embarrassment and grief washed over her again and she thought she really was going crazy. She leaned over the body, slowly looking at the face and ears and hair. She realized she must have looked like a complete lunatic.

She reached over to unbutton his shirt but the funeral director piped up again.

"Ma'am, no, I can't let you do that." And he roughly grabbed her hand and stopped her, looking at her and daring her to continue. He moved her hand out of the way and again said, "No. We have rules. They have to be respected. Otherwise, I will have you removed."

Mia decided that it was best not to get into a fight with him at this moment and instead continued her observations. She ran her fingers over Kirill's forehead and hair while the funeral director kept lecturing her.

"Shut the fuck up!" She glared at him. "The faster you stop talking, the faster we can be on our way, now back up!" She needed to get the confirmation she so craved.

Finally, in a last ditch effort, she figured out what to do. She opened Kirill's eyelid and saw that the man's eye colour was a deep brown.

Author's note: Where is Kirill??

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