but sometimes ;; haobin

eleven

Hanbin was staring out of the window in silence, allowing the cold sea breeze to wash over him. He hadn't seen Zhang Hao since their argument, and he hadn't gotten any messages yet. He didn't want to be the first one to reach out, however - he wanted Zhang Hao to pick up his feet and start taking their 'relationship' seriously.

His phone buzzed beside him, and for a moment Hanbin felt excited - only to realise that Felix was the one calling him. He picked up the phone, pressing it to his ear. "Oh, hey, Lix."

"You good, man? You sound... sad."

Hanbin chuckled, looking down at the ground below him. "Well... Zhang Hao and I had something of a fight earlier today. His ex came to town, and he kept telling me they're just friends - but the bastard is clearly after Zhang Hao! Tch, all of this is so annoying."

"Well... you two aren't actually dating, right? It's all pretend. That kinda sucks, though, that he never told you. Is he spending time with his ex?"

"Unfortunately so. They're even having a dinner date right now. I'm actually so pissed right now. I want to end things with Hao - he clearly has the intention of getting back together with Jiwoong, seeing as he just forgives every word he says. He doesn't love me - he never will. I can't keep clinging onto hope like this."

"Well, why don't you just come back home?" Felix asked, his tone suddenly hopeful. "We can distract you in other ways - we'll just go drinking every night until you find someone else, okay? Or until you get over Matthew - and Zhang Hao, I suppose."

"Thanks, Lix - I might actually come home earlier," Hanbin sighed. "Nine days is a bit too long, actually. I'll speak with my aunt - maybe I'll be home in the next three days or so."

"Cheer up, dude - you're gonna be fine. I think you should take a break from dating for a bit."

"Yeah, maybe. Thanks for checking up on me. I'll probably reschedule my flight tomorrow for the next one heading out."

"See you soon, then. Love you."

"Mhm. Love you too."

Hanbin hung up, placing his phone down beside him, but he heard his aunt call for him downstairs. "Hanbin-ah! Your boyfriend is here!"

Hanbin paused for a moment to process things before hurriedly running down the stairs past his aunt. He stopped at the door, widening his eyes at the sight of Zhang Hao's rather sad eyes. "Z-Zhang Hao, what are you-"

"We need to talk... please. This is important."

Hanbin looked into the house. His aunt nodded, and the tall boy quickly slipped on a pair of sneakers before joining Zhang Hao outside. The two walked for a bit until they got to the gate to be an ample distance from the house. Hanbin put his hands into his pockets with a sigh. "I might as well tell you what I'm planning, since you're here."

Zhang Hao held his breath for a second, as if he could tell what was coming. "H-Hanbin, I'm... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those things this afternoon. You're my boyfriend, and-"

"No, Zhang Hao. I'm facing reality, like you told me to," Hanbin interrupted. "I'm... not your boyfriend. I shouldn't have agreed to date you for these two weeks. I'm restricting you from finding someone who can actually teach you love."

"Hanbin, let me speak." Zhang Hao had tears in his eyes. "Jiwoong is just my friend. Nothing will ever happen between us again. I truthfully don't know how I feel - but I know I like being with you. I like... having this. What we have is different from what I had with Jiwoong last year."

"It looks like you're ready to give him a second chance, though."

"Hanbin, it's you, okay? It'll only be you." Zhang Hao stepped forward to hold Hanbin's hands, but the other didn't return the grip. "I want to learn how to love. I want you to teach me how to love. I want to get so attached to you that I'll be heartbroken when you leave. Take me to Seoul with you."

Hanbin released the other's hands, a sad smile on his lips. "But this is all temporary. All fake - all... pretend. I don't know if I'll get through to you when you don't know that hanging out with your ex-boyfriend isn't typically acceptable."

"I'll limit time with him," Zhang Hao assured. "I'll set things straight with him - I don't like Jiwoong. I'll make sure that you're always with us. I'm sorry for making you feel inadequate, Hanbin. I'm... I'm sorry for not loving you enough."

Hanbin reached forward and took Zhang Hao's hand into his own. "I wanted to leave earlier than expected, but... you're lucky I'm madly in love with you."

"Do you want a kiss better?"

Hanbin nodded, and Zhang Hao smiled, stepping forward to lessen the distance between them completely. As they tilted their heads, their lips met in a soft kiss - one that was clearly missed. Hanbin immediately grabbed Zhang Hao's waist, pulling him closer to deepen the sweet kiss. The Chinese boy had no idea what to do with his hands, settling with putting them around Hanbin's neck.

Hanbin pulled away, staring down at Zhang Hao's lips for a moment. "Hao, I... uhm..."

Zhang Hao pecked his lips for a second, smiling at Hanbin rather brightly. "It's going to be fine, okay? I'll do my best to learn how to love you. No more games... okay?"

"So you'll be my boyfriend? For real? So it's not a pretend relationship anymore?"

"Calling it that just hurts you, and watching you yell at me with such pain made me... sad," Zhang Hao said softly. "It's selfish of me. This is a real relationship, and I'm sorry for making you feel bad about having feelings for me. But I can't say that I love you just yet - it still feels a bit... empty."

"Then I'll show you more love until you can say it back."