Church with the Johnsons was life changing, it was as Evelyn remembered it with aunt Simi but the pastor had preached about the coming of Christ, the love of God and the what it felt like to be in Christ. To be frank Evelyn didn't care if she goes to heaven or hell but as she watched the Johnson listening to the pastor ministering with smiles on their faces she realized maybe she wanted this too for a short while, the feeling of knowing she could always talk to someone anytime, of relying on someone and putting all you trust there Evelyn wanted it, she was tired, so so tired but knew she had to Right to take her life. The suicidal thoughts, the came oh they came. Her inner demons telling her to just take the drugs and never have to wake up but she just couldn't. So she dicided to do it. Give her life while she still lived and if the peace was all she could get, she was ready to sell her soul to him.
She wanted something like the Johnsons had even with a son that was the gossip at school, she could tell they were genuinely happy and Evelyn wanted a little of that before she died. "Peace like a river" and her favourite"it is well!".
They left the church and went home together with them. Made food with Mrs Katherine and Anna in the kitchen and they all ate together. Evelyn could swear she had never felt so free. The smile were not fake or force and the laughter oh it was loud and free. Especially Anna who snorts while laughing. It was everything Evelyn thought it would be and more and that evening Evelyn told them what she really wanted, to know Christ, to feel that peace the preacher talked about, the forgiveness, he mentioned so many times.
And they told her all they knew, their face lit up In joy and they told her all they knew giving her scriptural references- the called it. It was divine and that night Evelyn Mary Peterson gave her life to Christ. She had her doubt, so many but they had done all they could the rest she dicided she was gonna ask the man himself.
So that night after eating dinner, Evelyn lay in bed and cried her heart out . She found out that she had worn a that mask for so long she had started to believe it- the lies that she could do it on her own, that she didn't need love( when inside her she felt she didn't deserve it). That she wasn't scared and after those wall crumbled down she found out she was just a child who needed love, who desperately sought it. Who wanted a family like the once she sometimes read or saw, who wanted friends. At the end she just wanted a normal life.
She didn't know how to start a conversation with this man Jesus who she just met and was told died for her sin, The Johnsons saw him as a father in the way they talked about him Evelyn didn't think of him as such, the word father had scarred her so she saw him as a new friend who she just met and could tell her whole life story to. So she did told him about aunt Simi, how she saw her parent, how the last friend she remembered having was in kindergarten but Soon before she knew it she started blaming him, the tears came and Evelyn didn't know how even though she could swear she never blamed anyone but her fate. The tears, the screams
" Why did you take aunt Simi?! Why did you create me if I have to deal with all this" but soon the tears stopped and she felt free having told someone how she felt.
"You won't leave me, that was what they told me. So here I am giving back my life to you I thought I could do this, I thought I was strong on my own but no! "Evelyn screamed." I am so tired for the remainder of my short life before I die please I need you to be that hand on my shoulder when I walk through the dark" she sniffed "I am so tired". She soon felt asleep
The next day she woke up with her eyes swollen and had to use glasses to cover them up for school. She saw Aaron standing beside her locker and walked up to him.
"Hi Aaron" she greeted
"Hi Evelyn, are you ok?"
She smiled at him before shaking her head" it's fine had a rough night. He raised an eyebrow but didn't ask her anymore questions.
"Mum said to ask if you wanted to come to the fellowship after school?"
She smiled " of course I will" she answered before walking away.
She walked into the class and sat taking her head phones out before Mrs. Adam came in but she stated having flashes of pain and her vision darkening, she Shaked her head as if to push it away but son like a blow to her head she was lights out the last thing she head was girls screaming and the whole class in disarray.
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Frayed Thoughts
RandomAfter almost being stabbed by her father. Evelyn had pretty much given up on life that was until it happened; the cancer, it had taken everyone close to her, mum, aunt Simi, everyone, it was the family's curse that's why when she coughed her first d...
