Gravity - B. Barnes

-15-

Trigger warning: Mentions of self harm and abuse, depression

Kat was curled up on the couch, a cup of coffee in her hands - her third so far that day and it was only noon. She was buried in a blanket, wearing sweatpants and one of Bucky's long sleeve shirts, hands shaking with anxiety and caffeine, waiting for...something terrible, she just wasn't sure what yet. Her mind had been spiraling, and she was exhausted but too afraid to sleep.

It had been four nights since she'd left Lucy's - abandoned Lucy - for Bucky's. She'd had terrible nightmares, flashbacks, every night since. Well, except last night. After her last one and seeing the fear in Bucky's face when he'd burst through the bathroom door in the middle of the night to find her freezing under the cold shower, saw the deep red scratches she'd used her fingernails to gouge into her thighs in an attempt to ground herself after the dream, she'd stopped sleeping.

The lack of sleep wasn't helping her spiraling thoughts. She was a terrible friend for abandoning Lucy. Bucky deserved better than having to worry about her and take care of her. She'd pulled Sam halfway around the world too many times because she couldn't get her act together. She was a burden. And what if Max came back? He was still out there. He'd kill her next time for sure. And probably Bucky. If he killed Bucky because of her-

She jumped as the buzzer rang, but Bucky reassured her, "Just lunch." A static voice said "delivery from Izzy" and Bucky pressed the button to admit them to the building. He opened the door and waited for the delivery person to bring the food, quickly paid and closed the door.

Bucky placed the takeout bag on the kitchen counter and began pulling the containers out. Kat padded to the kitchen, pulling out plates and cups before standing across from him and eying the food. "Wow, that's quite the spread."

"It's what you ate the most of the night we met." A small smile graced his lips at the memory.

Kat's eyes snapped to his. "You remembered?"

Bucky nodded. "You learn to notice everything when you're an assassin."

Kat grimaced. "Right. Sorry. I didn't mean to remind you."

"It's not like I forget."

"Still..." She shook her head and wrapped an arm around herself before giving him a tight smile and stepping away. "What do you want to drink?"

He watched her as he filled his plate with food, noting her melancholy. "Anything is fine."

Kat grabbed the water pitcher from the fridge, plopping it on the kitchen table. As she turned, Bucky handed her a plate heaping with food. "Oh, I- thank you." Bucky winked at her and she ducked her head. They ate in silence a few minutes before Kat spoke up. "What-" She cleared her throat. "What made you do all this?"

He shrugged and spoke around his food. "Can't I treat my girl?"

Kat blushed. "Of course. I just...Sorry."

"You apologize too much."

"What?...oh. Sorry."

Bucky pointed at her. "See?"

Kat snorted, then shook her head and gently chuckled. "Okay. Sor-" She glanced at Bucky, who was raising his eyebrows at her. "Ugh. You're annoying, you know that?"

"I've been told a time or two. Particularly by Sam." Bucky's crooked grin was back.

"Hm."

"You're not sleeping."

"What?" Kat's eyes shot to Bucky's. She'd tried to hide it, laying in bed with her eyes closed until she was sure he was asleep, not even leaving the bed once he'd drifted off for fear of alerting him.