Heartless ~ Bellamy Blake

Chapter Twelve

Nothing will ever be like before.
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I sit against a tree not far from the depot but far enough where Bellamy wouldn't be able to find me. How could I be so stupid? I have no idea what took over me. Kissing him, I mean c'mon. He may have felt the same once before but like he said to Charlotte, "Feelings change." 
He's probably likes Clarke, doesn't matter what Octavia says. After everything, building this camp and leading it, he would leave just like that?

It was dark now, as I made my way back to the depot. Had Bellamy left or is he waiting down there right now, I have no idea. I make my way down the stairs and then more stairs to reach where we had been shooting. No Bellamy. His pack is still on the table and I get flashbacks from earlier. The way he tucked my hair behind my ear. His rough hands against my cheek. Him pulling away. Him saying it was a mistake. I shake my head from the thoughts and grab my gun. As much as I dislike him right now I wouldn't let him die. Ever. I retreat out of the bunker and climb out from the door. He's gotta be around here somewhere, I walk around aimlessly but focused.

"Kill me, please. I deserve it." I hear Bellamy yell. I briskly walk to the direction of him yelling and I see Dax a kid from camp standing above him. A gun pointed right at Bellamy.

"Nothing personal." Dax mutters. I hear a click of a gun and I walk slowly, closer to them. I see the fear on Bellamy's face realizing he has no weapon. I cock my gun, making myself known. Dax turns around quickly to see me as Bellamy is still laying in the ground. "Should've kept away Kingsley. I was trying not to kill you. But here you are and Shumway said no witnesses."

"Yea well you better make sure it's a kill shot." I say lowly. I pull the trigger and all I hear is a click. Seeing as Dax is gonna use this to take his chance, I run behind a tree when I hear Bellamy yell "No!" Shots ring out and I can feel a bullet graze the side of my thigh. I ignore the pain and try to fix my gun. I hear Bellamy and Dax wresting on the ground from behind the tree. I turn, gun now fixed and I see Bellamy losing the fight, bad. I waste no time in letting myself pull the trigger. Shooting Dax in the head. Holy shit. I just killed another person. I slide to the ground against a tree. Holy shit I just killed another human being. I repeat in my head. I was panting heavily and feel Bellamy use my good thigh to slide himself against the tree next to me. I look at him, his face bleeding from getting punched so many times. "Your okay." I breathe out. I'm not sure if I was talking to him or myself but he answered.

"No, I'm not." I look at him but he stares at the ground. "My mother, If she knew what I had done, who I am. She raised me to be better to be good. And I'll I do is hurt people, hurt you. And I'm a monster." I see a tear roll down his face. I've only ever seen Bellamy cry a handful of times, him more than me. And I know when Bellamy actually lets himself cry, he's going through it. He looks at me, his full attention when I say his name.

"Bellamy, Aurora would be proud of you. None of those kids would have survived this place without you." He cuts me off quickly, "You would have." He looks at Dax, his body not laying far from us.

I sigh and grab his hand, I need him to believe this. "You want forgiveness? Fine I'll give it to you. You're forgiven okay?" His eyes shift to mine. "You have to face it, keep going forward, because things like that." I look at Dax and back at Bellamy. "will haunt you if you don't."

"Jaha will kill me when he comes down." Bellamy sucks in a breath and sniffles. "You think I would let that happen?" I stand up, making sure not to put pressure on my leg. "If I wanted you dead, I would have let him do it." I nod to Dax and stretch out a hand to Bellamy. He takes it and I pull him up. We walk slowly to back to the depot. Bellamy quickly walks slowly down the stairs as I hobble down them. I sit on the table and take out fabric from my pack. I see Bellamy using a piece of rope to secure them all together. It's silent as we both work until he notices my thigh.