HE Who Saw the Deep

Chapter 3

We were playing badminton on the field for our Physical Activity.

It's gloomy and so the people's aura reflect their moods. Maraming college students ang naka-hoodie o di kaya'y jacket.

"Eryna! You're spacing out! " Sigaw ng pair ko sa laro.

"Ah, sorry! " Sabi ko at agad na kinuha ang shuttlecock na nasa unahan ko pa.

I started hitting the shuttlecock and play like there's no tomorrow. Malamig ang paligid pero naiinitan ako dahil sa ginawang paglalaro.

When my partner stated to have a water break I tied my hair and sat on the bench under the tree.

Nagulat ako sa tumabi sa akin kaya napausog ako kaunti.

"Wow? " Eron scoffed "Gulat na gulat? " He looked insulted that it made me laugh.

"Ano na naman? Don't you have class?"

"Wala."

"May nakita akong libro sa bahay. Baka gusto mo?" Dagdag pa nito habang nagmamasid sa mga kaklase kong naglalaro pa ng badminton.

Napalingon ako sa kanya. "What kind of book?"

He shrugged. "I feel like you'll like it. I don't know what exactly."

"Basahin mo 'yon baka mas kailangan mo pa eh." I said without humor.

He stood up and made his exit. Bumalik ako sa paglalaro at hinayaan siyang umalis.

"May malapit namang paaralan dito at talagang pumili ka pa ng sobrang layo! Kasalanan mo rin 'yan!" Rinig ko kay lola nang narinig niya akong umangal sa sakit ng likod ko.

Like the other days that happened, hinayaan ko iyon dahil wala rin naman akong punto para makipagsagutan.

I always keep in mind what sacrifices she has done for us to live under her roof. In exchange of it all, I must keep my opinion to myself and never talk about how tired I am infront of everyone. Natuto rin akong magpakumbaba.

My mother became a househelp. Hindi.. she became a nanny. Ang alam ko ay may bata siyang inaalagaan. Whereas me and my younger brother were left here with no choice. Si papa naman ay isang trabahante sa isang kompanya.

It's only to survive and not to live. With the fact that life feels so suffocating.

I had friends back when I was in elementary but when I transfered school we eventually grew apart and lost contact. Now that I am in my last junior high year, I only had schoolmates but not friends.

I prefer to have a genuine small circle which I couldn't find until now.

What's left for me now is to study and leave everything behind with my younger brother when the opportunity comes around.

Hindi ako nakapasok dalawang araw na dahil nilalagnat si Kurt at si lola naman ay nagsikap na makautang sa mga kakilala.

Life's too cruel you know.

Alam kong maraming activities ang kailangang ipasa pero hindi na ako nagkaroon ng panahon para makapagpadala ng excuse letter sa school dahil wala naman akong kapitbahay na doon nag aaral.

When Kurt was feeling okay, I didn't have any chance to go to school again. Naubos rin kasi ang perang tinipidtipid ko kaya balik na naman ako sa simula para mag ipon at wala ring maibibigay si lola sa akin dahil ubos na rin ang pera at hindi pa nakakapagpadala si papa.

May cellphone naman ako pero walang sim. May naiwan pang limang pisong barya sa bulsa ng uniporme ko kaya nagpasya akong ihulog nalang iyon sa public wifi para makapagmensahe sa mga guro.