HE Who Saw the Deep (COMPLETED)

Prologue

I've read a lot of cliche novels. Where it's always the man who would come back and chase. In my case, I think that it's always the one who ended things but did not end it with all their beating hearts.

I was miserable. Hopeless that I couldn't care less about the relationships I had towards people especially to the one that I love more than myself, Eron. I was too focused on myself that my perception in love was clouded that leads for me to not see the effort and understanding my lover has given me.

He understood how much weight was put into my shoulders, that I couldn't even make time for him because everything couldn't just feel light. I'm at fault. I couldn't even show him how much I love him. I couldn't accept his effort. I couldn't express what I really feel, like he's there but I couldn't see him.

He endured the feeling of being set aside. I was young, naive, emotional, unsettled, and problematic. Despite it all — he stayed. . . but I pushed him away neverminding his feelings.

"Saan ka galing? Tagal mo naman. " Bungad ni Mizuki sa akin pagkabukas ko palang ng pinto. Nakaupo sya ng komportable sa couch habang may tinitipa sa laptop.

Malalalim ang hiningang binitiwan ko kasabay ng paghubad ko ng itim na corporate suit at black office heels.

I walked towards the fridge , not surprised by her presence in my house anymore.

"From work." simpleng sagot ko.

Nagtaas siya ng kilay at tinuro gamit ang nguso niya ang mga passport na nasa mini table ko sa sala.

"Saan na naman? At talagang hindi ka makapunta nang hindi ako kasama? " I trailed off and sipped on a glass of water.

"Switzerland. Sagot ko expenses mo. " She winked and crossed her arms acting so proud of what she just said.

I cannot process that quickly.

"Switz— What?! " Gulantang kong tanong.

Oh my Gosh!? Tama ba ang narinig kong sa Switzerland nga kami?!

I've been in a lot of countries at kababalik ko lang ng Pilipinas noong nakaraang buwan but... I've never been in Switzerland.

It's not that I couldn't afford the expense of going there. Hindi ko lang mahanap ang rason kung bakit. But now that I've moved on, I just want to let myself be happy.

I'm happy kasi inaya niya ako.

Nakatitig siya sa akin at hinihintay ang magiging reaksiyon ko. Mabilis na sumilay ang ngiti ko sa mukha at agad-agad na lumapit sa kanya.

"Totoo ba?" paninigurado ko

"True." She lazily said and faced her laptop.

Hinaklit ko ang laptop nya saka siya hinarap sa akin. Tumawa siya sa ginawa ko.

"What now? " She's having fun seeing me this excited!

"Ano, totoo ba? Kapag ito joke, hindi ka na welcome sa unit ko! " Umirap ako at niyugyog siya.

"Oo nga, kaya bilisan mo mag impake, bukas ng hapon ang alis natin. " Aniya na parang walang gana pero nakangiti pa rin.

" Ang yaman talaga nitong si Malayan girl! " I exclaimed and couldn't even think of my job!

"Walangya ka bakit hindi ako mapakali, " sambit ko na nagpatawa sa kanya.

"Walang pinagbago, may trust issues ka pa rin. Hindi ka pa nga nakakasakay ng eroplano emotional ka na agad. " Tumatawa-tawa niyang sabi.

Sa sobrang excited ko ay nalimutan kong may trabaho pa pala akong dapat pagpaalaman. But thinking that I'll be in Switzerland just boosts my living excitement! Pangarap 'yun eh, dati pa!

Manila to Zurich ang flight namin and that's almost 21 hours in total. Kaya pala panay hingi ng mga credentials ko si Miz dahil may balak bumisita sa bansa.

Hindi pa naman time ng boarding namin kaya nagpaalam muna akong bumili ng makakain naming dalawa. I just bought cinnabon and drinks then some cookies and crackers para naman may makain kami habang naghihintay sa oras.

I walked across the huge halls of the NAIA Airport as I carried the food with me.

Wearing simple flat white sandals, pastel blue trousers and white formal sleeved tops. My hair now is wavy and only on my armpit's level.

Maingay ang paligid sa dami ng taong abala sa kanya-kanyang buhay.

Malapit na sana akong umabot sa upuan kung hindi lang ako nabundol ng luggage trolley. Hindi ko alam kung staff ba or kung sino ang bumangga dahil hindi ko naman nakita kanina noong naglalakad ako.

I wasn't mad because I am okay and the food is.. but my feet hurts. I checked my ankle and saw a light scratch right there but it's not a big deal, I'll just put some ointment later.

"Sorry Miss, hindi kita nakita. " A man approached me.

Nang lumingon ako para tingnan siya ay saka ko na lamang nalaman kung sino siya.

Small world.

Para akong nawalan ng lakas para tumayo but I remained poised.

I couldn't even recognize his voice now. His looks changed and even his build. Nakasuot siya ng komportableng damit. Black shorts and a white polo shirt, paired with his black rubber shoes and black suit cases na nakalagay sa trolley.

Hindi ko man lang sya nakita sa malayo para makaiwas ako. I couldn't recognize him that easily now. Everything has changed.

We both stopped midway right after we saw each other. Walang nagtangkang magsalita.

I couldn't even recognize him from a far.

He lightly licked his lips and swallowed the lump on his throat. Inayos niya ang luggage trolley at tiningnan ang paanan ko.

"Uhm, I hope It did not cause a scratch." He carefully said and stepped back, adjusting the distance between us.

I smiled and shook my head a little. "It's okay. "

Aalis na sana ako nang magsalita siya. "It's nice meeting you, Ar. Eryna." He smiled a little and I smiled back.

Ilang taon rin. Ilang taon ko rin siyang hinabol pero — wala akong nagawa dahil ayaw niya namang magpakita.

Nagmakaawa ako at ginawa ang lahat nang matantong masyado ko siyang nasaktan. I begged my prayers na sana ay pagtagpuin kami ng mga panahong pwede pang maayos ang lahat at maagaman ang lahat ng sakit niyang nararamdaman.

He was the moon I have longed for how many years but then I woke up one day realising that even though he is worth my sacrifices I also know how to stop. Thus my patience to look for him hoping he would appear out of nowhere and accept me back faded as the time passes.

Napagod rin ako kalaunan pero alam kong mas napagod siya sa akin. I was at my worst and because of that, I was dreadful and so I couldn't appreciate all the love and kindness he showed me. Everything's just my fault.

How many years? I lost count. But this year's not included anymore. I am regretful but I wouldn't dare to make him unhappy with me again. He deserves someone who knows how to appreciate his undying efforts. Someone that's not me.

I felt relief knowing he's doing alright but I hope I will never cross paths with him again... kasi hindi ko makakayanang makita siyang hindi sa akin.

He is my greatest love. . . and yet my greatest loss.

merMia