𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐬𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞|𝑭𝒊𝒗𝒆𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒔

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞

"So, how is it that we're still here, but the whole of the universe is going down the cosmic shitter?" "Maybe we're the last to get flushed." "Wasn't talking to you." "Hey, has anyone seen Klaus?" "Or Dad?" "They'll be here." "Really? Did they... hit traffic?" "Look, people, we're alive because we're special, right? We're the only ones who can save the universe." "Didn't we just try that and fail miserably?" "Yeah, it's because his plan was stupid." "Mm. I got a better one." "Course you do." "We go with the large hard-on particle accelerator. You guys do some science, and... we launch the Kugelblitz into outer space. Didn't think I knew that, did ya? It's in Switzerland." "It's "hadron," not "hard-on," ya moron!"

I wasn't listening to anything that came next. I just next next to Viktor with my head on their shoulder and I was fiddling around with Jaymes ring on my finger.

"Hey! You guys done? The universe is disappearing outside. So you can keep rearranging the deck chairs of the Titanic if it makes you feel better. But the fact remains that we are too late." "Five, come on." "It's over, Luther. We failed." "Come on. It can't be over over." "Yeah, come on, Five. We gotta figure this out, man." "Okay. How about we take a step back? Look at the big picture here. Most of us have spent the last 28 days trying to stop the world from ending. What exactly have we accomplished?"

"Well, we made some friends along the way." "Incorrect! You know what we've done? Nothing. We made things worse every single time." "Amen to that." "Look, when I went to the Commission, I had a conversation with my 100-year-old self. And my last words were, 'Don't save the world.'" "Don't save the world?" "Don't save the world!" "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." "Is it? Well, whatever we're doing's not working. All we ever do is save the world for a day, pat ourselves on the back, and then everything goes to sh¡t again. Yeah, maybe we're the problem." "Oh, yeah. Us." "So, wait. Your big plan is no plan?" "Exactly. Conscientious objection. Why the hell not? We've tried everything else. Look, maybe this is just what the universe needs. I say, embrace the apocalypse. See what's on the other side." "What if it's... nothing?" "Then it's been nice knowing you all. Whatever's on your bucket list, I recommend you do that now."

I felt like throwing up. The feeling of losing somebody you cared for, is horrible. But the feeling of knowing that you are going to die, is unimaginable.

"Well, on that... super happy note, we've, um... Oh, what the hell. ( laughs ) Okay. We've, uh, got a little announcement to make." Luther Says. "We're engaged!" Sloane and Luther said at the same time. "Kill me, Jesus." "Idiots" "Now? Yeah. Look, we realize the timing is less than ideal. But, obviously, it's now or never. Am I right, Five?" "Don't drag me into this, please." "What... Whatever time we have left, we wanna spend it with all of you. So we're super pumped if you would join us in the banquet hall at 6:00 p.m. for a celebration of our love, and the official union of what's left of our two great families. Dress code is creative black-tie."

( Sloane laughs )

"And you did all of this yourself?" "Luther helped too. We stayed up all night." Sloane Said while she handed out jars with invitations in them "Amazing." "Dad?"

"Gather 'round, children. Quickly now!" Father Says. "The hell have you been?" "Oh, Reg and I. We got tangled up in a whole father-son end-of-the-world road trip kinda thing. You know?" "You two are hanging now?" "Yeah, we laughed, we cried, we played in traffic, and long story short, I'm immortal now." " Whoa, wait. You're what now?" "Klaus, have you gotten into the bath salts again?" "I think the more pertinent question is, why are you all playing with jars?" "They're invitations. Luther and I are getting married." Sloane Said.

"All of space and time is collapsing, and you lot are planning a wedding?" Yeah, and, uh, the thing is, um, space is limited. So it's kind of a per-plate situation, so, you know." Luther Says while he takes a invitation away from him. "Is this how I raised you? To fiddle while Rome burns?" "Remember what we talked about, Reg. Remember to breathe." "Quiet, I'm on a roll." "Dad, have you been taking your pills?" "As a matter of fact, I haven't. And I can confirm that I've never felt better in my life. You thought you could dope me up and slow me down, take control of my affairs and squander my fortune. Well, Klaus here was good enough to wean me off that wretched poison. And now that the fog is lifting, I can see all your dastardly designs with a bracing clarity."

"You took him off his meds? What were you thinking?" "He's the only one doing any thinking. All of you could learn a thing or two from this impressive young man." "The world really is ending!" "As for the rest of you, your training is to resume post-haste. We're running out of time. We have a mission to complete." "I'm ready. Let's do this."

"Let me guess. Project Oblivion?" Five Says. "How do you know about that?" "I heard all about it from Pogo." "Now, there's a name I haven't heard in some time." "And he confirmed what I've always suspected about you." "Which is? That you're a sadistic lunatic who's planning on gambling all of our lives in another pointless mission." "And you'd take the word of a disgruntled chimp over that of your own father?" "Every damn day."

"Nobody wants you here, Dad." Luther Said. "You should leave. Hey, you don't speak for all of us, big guy." "Feel free to join him." "I see. So this is what it's come to. Insurrection." "That's not the kind of erection we're driving for here, all right? Everybody just needs to be cool. Clearly, you guys are on a different chakra frequency right now." Hey, Pops, let's go have a nice cup of tea in the suite." Klaus Says as he tries to get Reginald away from us all. "Let go of my arm." "Luther, Sloane. Oh my God. I'm beyond thrilled. You guys are gorgeous. Amazing. Send me your registry!" Klaus Said as he took Reginald away.

We all started to go different ways again. I wanted to go to Five but I felt Sloane grab my arm. "Valerie, can I talk to you for a minute" She said. I looked at Five and then back at her. "Sure" I said as she smiled and took me somewhere away from everybody else