meant to be • adam banks

chapter twelve

adam

"C'mon Banksie." Charlie says from over me. "Just one more lift. You got this."

My muscles are burning and there's sweat pouring down my face. The last thing I want to do is finish this set, but it's my final one today. I would be an absolute bitch if I backed out now. Besides, a lot of the team looks up to me. I need to lead by example.

Grabbing the bar and inhaling deeply, I use the little strength I have left to power through the lift. A grunt escapes my lips as I drop the bar back on the rack and sit up, my breathing heavy and uneven. I grab my shirt and lift it up, using it to wipe the sweat off my face. "Dude... that was brutal."

Charlie offers a small shrug in response. "At least you're done. And Jesus Banksie, save some abs for the rest of us. It's unfair."

"Shut up Conway." I reply as I roll my eyes and wave my hand dismissively. "You've got just as much muscle as me. I'm sick and tired of you and the team acting like I'm some Greek god or something."

"Uh Banksie... you kind of are." Goldberg chimes in, suddenly standing beside Charlie. "You're basically an Adonis. Think about it dude. You've got the hair, the eyes, the height, and the muscles, not to mention at least half the school in love with you. I still don't understand how you don't see it."

"Where the hell did you come from?" is my genius answer, because I swear he wasn't here ten seconds ago. "It's like you just popped out of thin air."

Goldberg shrugs lightly and slings an arm around Charlie. "I finished my set and had nothing to do, so I just started wandering and overheard your conversation. Also, I don't know if anyone's ever told you this, but you talk really loud."

"Oh fuck off." I respond, flipping him the finger. "I know you're not talking, considering you're always the loudest one in the locker room."

"No way!" he answers immediately. "That definitely goes to either Averman or Russ. Maybe even Mason if you want to go crazy. So unlike you say, it's definitely not me."

I nod and give him a sarcastically sweet smile. "Sure Goldberg. Whatever you say."

After he wanders off, I finally force myself to get up from the bench. I quickly take the towel Charlie hands out to me, and start the walk towards the locker room as I finish wiping off my face.

"So, how'd this weekend go with you and Ella?" Charlie asks cautiously, almost as if the subject is forbidden to talk about. "I can pretty much assume what happened, but have you guys talked about it?"

I ignore the familiar feeling of my stomach starting to sink and shake my head slightly, looking down to the floor in uncomfortability. "Nope. We haven't even talked at all since it happened."

"Oh shit." Charlie says quietly. "What happened?"

I wont lie, part of me is offended that his first thought is to ask what I did wrong. I can't say I blame him though, I've been acting like a complete ass with Ella. She deserves a hell of a lot more than what I've been putting her through.

I'm suddenly being stopped by Charlie, whose hand is on my shoulder before I can even process it. I look up to see a concerned look on his face, and it dawns on me that I haven't answered his question. "Adam... what did you do?"

"Nothing bad." I snap, jerking my shoulder out of his grip. "What were you thinking I did? Something bad right? You think I would actually hurt her like that?"

"Jesus Adam, what the fuck's gotten into you?" he counters, a look mixed between shock and horror on his face. "Why would you ever think I'd go that far? I just wanted to know what happened that night so that I could try and help you, but clearly you're too busy accusing me of thinking you did some terrible shit."

Before I know it, my temper gets the best of me. "I didn't stay the night and take care of her after we fucked, okay? Are you happy now?"

His mouth goes into a thin line, probably because he's got nothing to say. Nodding silently, he walks into the locker room and leaves me standing alone in the middle of the hallway. The only thing that breaks the silence is the locker room door slamming shut, but it quickly opens again after a few seconds.

"Hey Banksie. Is everything okay?"

I look up to see Connie approaching carefully, with Julie right behind her. I offer her a small smile and shrug my shoulders. "Yeah, don't worry about it. Everything's just fine."

After knowing Connie for a decade, I should've known that lying to her will get me nowhere. "Are you sure? Because Charlie came storming into the locker room, cursing up a storm about how much of an idiot you are."

"Are you guys fighting or something?" Julie adds warily. "You know you can always come to us if something's up. We won't judge you, we just want to help."

"No we aren't, he's just mad at me because of what's been going on with the whole Ella situation." I mumble, looking at the floor again. "I know everything that's happened is my fault. What I've been doing is fucked up, but I promise you both I really am trying to fix it. I swear I didn't mean to-"

Before I know it, tears have welled up in my eyes and I'm clearing my throat in an attempt to stop myself from crying. "Sorry... I just... I..."

A wave of comfort washes over me as both girls come rushing over and hug me tightly, but that doesn't stop the even bigger feeling of embarrassment that's coursing though my body. I promised myself after Rick Riley's Halloween party during freshman year that I'd never let anyone see me cry ever again. That's something I do on my own time, when I absolutely need to.

Yet here I am, stuck in a hug with two of my teammates as tears slowly roll down my cheeks.

It's not that I don't appreciate what they're doing, because I really do. I would've just rather been alone if I was going to cry, for the reasons I said before. I like dealing with things on my own.

Despite that though, the hug does help in calming me down and bringing me some comfort. I give them a half-assed smile, because that's the best thing I can muster up right now. "Thanks guys. You're the best."

"We love you Banksie." Julie responds, reaching for my hand and giving it a little squeeze. "We're always here for you, no matter what."

After Connie nods in agreement, I finally give them a real smile. I sling an arm around each of their shoulders and start walking towards the locker room, letting out a sigh of relief as I feel myself relax and destress.

Although things may not be the best for me right now, I know they're going to start turning around soon enough. And if they don't, I'll make damn well sure they do.

**a/n**
i hate this so much i'm so sorry. but with school starting i haven't had much time to write and this is the best it's going to get bc my brain is scrambled with all
of the assignments i have already. with that being though i hope you like this and i will see you all soon! byeeeeeeeeeeeee