Hired (Forbidden Lovers: Rosie Anders)

Bonus Chapter: The Secret Clause

Author's Note: this chapter takes place after Chapter 25, Take Me Home.

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Matthew

I wake up with a start and the night before slams into my head like an asteroid. I stare at the ceiling replaying it over and over. Every touch, every move, every kiss. I've never felt anything like that before with anyone, not even with Rosie until last night, and deep down I know I've probably ruined everything anyway. Last night will probably be the only time like that with her because ultimately this has to end. It always has to end. Usually it's the girl in question that ends it, but this time I know it has to be me. And she is going to hate me afterwards. I'm going to hate me afterwards and once again I'll be alone. Story of my life right there.

I roll my head to the side to look at her sleeping peacefully beside me, taking in every feature of her face, memorising it in this way because after I talk to her this morning she is most definitely going to shout at me, throw something at me, hit me - any or all of the above. I sigh quietly and gently roll onto my side to as not to wake her until I slip off the end of the bed. As I pick up each item of clothing, I picture the exact moment with her that lead to it coming off; every touch that ignited that spark a bit more.

We both know last night was more than just sex. For one night it was no longer about that ridiculous contract. For one night it was just about us. For one night we gave everything we had to each other and she will no doubt think we have to talk about this, but I intend to stop that in its track. That brings us back to her hating me later on. I already hate myself for thinking of doing it because I won't be able to explain why. I can already picture her pushing me to tell her the truth, but I won't. I can't. Not ever. She can never know.

I grab my jacket from the floor and hook it on my finger to swing over my shoulder as I head for the door. I twist the door handle but pause. You might find it hard to believe but I've never disappeared in the morning before the girl I've slept with wakes up. I could never imagine myself being that guy so I made sure I never had to see it. This time is different. This time I have to. I have to be that guy. Rosie has to see me as that sadistic mess she already thinks I am and this will seal that opinion in her forever. Then we can continue like all of this never happened. Well, she can. I might not be able to. In fact, I know I won't be able to.

My hand slips from the door handle and I pad across to her side, knowing I can't leave just like that. I kneel down on the floor and gently brush away the strand of hair over her forehead before it falls across her eye.

"I'm sorry." I whisper and gently kiss her on the lips, not expecting anything back, but when she starts to return the kiss, I know I have to go before she wakes up.

I pull away slowly, feeling her release and watch her for a few seconds to ensure she is still asleep before I leave. I back away, keeping my eyes on her and reach out for the door handle which appears to be unbelievably difficult to find when you aren't looking directly at it. I glance back to grab it and then take one last look at Rosie, wishing I could freeze this moment. In this moment she is happy and I haven't yet started my plan to change that. In this moment, no one is going to get hurt, but soon as I walk out that door, everything changes.

They say change is good, but in this case, it is going to be heart breaking. For us both. Yet, Rosie will be the only one who shows it. I can't possibly let on how much I wish it didn't have to be this way.

Finally accepting my fate, I make a swift exit shutting the door quietly and head out into the early morning air to find my car parked across the road.