Ambivalence

Chapter 1

"I thought love was just a mirage of the mind. It's an illusion, it's fake, impossible to find. But the day I met you, I began to see. That love is real and exists in me." - Chris Farmer

Amelia Grace Winters

The school bell rang and I immediately went out from History class with books in my hand. What was is again? When was the Second World War started? Nah, I'll check it out later.

I was distressed by last night. Rumors diversified and it reached to me. Hayden made out with someone else, Zoey. The popular, beautiful girl in school and is now with Adam Alford.

Wait what? What was Adam's reaction to her? I questioned myself. Maybe he felt the same way as I am, keeping our mouth shut while our hearts were in pain.

As I walked to my locker right down the school hallway, I saw Hayden standing right in front of my locker. I closed my eyes and kept walking.

"Hey Lia, you look beautiful as always," He said like an innocent boy. I smiled in response, like nothing was wrong.

"Ookay that was unusual," Hayden studied my face, trying to figure out what's wrong with me. "What was?" I pretended like everything was perfectly fine.

"You heard the rumors?" he raised his eyebrows. I ignored. "Babe?" Lia don't answer. Ignore.

I gave up. I thought it's time to let go the half of me. But Lia he's your everything. No not now Lia. But. Ugh, let's do this Lia.

"So how was last night? Was it fun? Oh right, of course. Making out with another girl will always bring happiness in your life. I would like to say congratulations to Hayden Sands, because you are entering another life called 'Life without Lia', thankyou for everything and bye sweetheart, see you in never." I faked a smile.

"But Lia listen-" I ran to French class immediately without looking back.

Did I just say that to a boy who 'used to' love me? yes, yes you did. Am I free from heartbreaks now? yes Lia, yes. Tears rolling down to my cheeks, confused about what just happened.

Still wondering about what happened to Adam and Zoey. I decided to ask Adam instead of Zoey since Adam's having French class with me. But I know it'll be awkward because I never talk to him before.

"Hi Adam," I nervously sat in front of him, looking at his eyes with tears in his hands. My hands were shaking, running out of words. He looked at me and smiled.

"I know this is kinda awkward but, can I ask you something? I think you know what I'm trying to say. Uh-um ZoeyandHayden."

"So you're Hayden's girlfriend?" I could see madness and hurt in his eyes.

"Ex-girlfriend, broke up 7 minutes ago," wow, I didn't know that I was being so specific.

His hands turned into a fist. I gently squeezed his hands, trying to calm himself from the news about, the ones who used to be the love of our lives.

"Thanks babe, you calmed me. No one's here to calm myself, but you came here. Again, thankyou," he said, smiling.

Babe? okay, we're friends Lia. Just friends. But, Hayden is the one who call me with the word 'babe'. It feels unusual when other boys call me that. Even Hayden to be honest. But this time, it feels just right.