A Secret Ambition

II

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." Timothy Leary

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II.

Lily had visited her Uncle Jack's home in Mayfair a handful of times throughout her childhood, but this was the first time that she would be staying with him and his family. Previously, if ever she and her family had made the short trip to London, they would have stayed at the Beresford's London home.

Jack's home was far more modest than the great Ashwood Place, though it was still a comfortable and quietly lavish house that had been decorated and over the years with the profits earned from Jack's publishing house, Beresford Press.

"I don't know what your father is going to do with himself now that both of his elder girls are out of the house," Jack commented with an amused smile as he and Claire escorted Lily towards the room she would be occupying. "Perhaps he will take up a hobby. Knitting would do him quite nicely. I expect you will be sent a bushel of scarves before the month is out."

"A bushel of scarves? Is that how they are measured in their quantity?" Claire giggled musically.

"Oh, yes. I am very learned in the mathematics of scarves," confirmed Jack with a grin, before he turned his attention back down to Lily. "What do you think your dear papa will get up to with you away?"

Lily could only imagine that her father would spend his time counting the days until she returned. There was certainly a small part of her as well that felt like doing the same. She had not even been away from home for a full day without feeling an odd sort of longing that she had never experienced before.

She did not long for her routine, her bedroom, or her things at Ashwood. But she would always long for her people.

Lily did not want to entertain this feeling. Not when she had spent so much time planning this adventure into independence. She pushed it backwards and offered her uncle a wry smile. "Knitting would be an excellent vocation for Papa, I think."

Jack laughed jovially as he settled one of his hands around Lily's shoulders, before he collected Claire with the other. "Truthfully, though, I am very proud of my brother. I know exactly how attached he is to his children. I know it first-hand. We have both endeavoured to raise our families completely differently to the way that we were brought up. I am proud that Adam would let you leave his side before he was forced to concede you to the Season. I have a few more months before I have to entertain the idea of Jackie ..."

Lily felt a shudder go through her uncle.

"Jackie is only entertaining your mother," Claire reminded him. "She is not going to be going anywhere just yet."

"I want that in writing," Jack murmured, before they finally came to a closed door at the end of the hallway. Jack released both Claire and Lily and reached for the door handle. He pushed open the door and guided both of them inside.

Like the house itself, the bedroom was smaller than Lily was used to, but it was just as tasteful and comfortable as the rest of the rooms she had seen. Her belongings had already been brought up by Jack's footmen. Her trunks were situated at the end of her bed.

"It's not Ashwood, but –"

"It's lovely, Aunt Claire," Lily promised. "I can't thank you both enough for hosting me. I promise I won't be any trouble."

The moment that the words escaped her lips, Lily regretted them. They felt like a falsehood on her tongue. While she did not know if and when she would find trouble, she knew that any sort of deception invited trouble.