A Secret Ambition

X

"All creatures must learn that there exist predators. Without this knowing, a woman will be unable to negotiate safely within her own forest without being devoured. To understand the predator is to become a mature animal who is not vulnerable out of naivete, inexperience, or foolishness." Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves

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X.

As February began, Lily believed that she was finally beginning to find her feet in Mr McCarthy's world. And by that, she meant that she had not started anymore fires, nor had she been directly called an 'eejit'.

At least not to her face.

She had settled into her routine of readying herself in the morning, being taken by carriage to Brunswick Street, before walking around the corner to Mr McCarthy's office.

Each morning she watched her uncle and her cousin, clad in breeches, set off for work, and it finally gave Lily a thrill to know that she was doing the same thing and experiencing her own taste of independence. Lily had endeavoured to heed Jackie's words and learn from her mistakes, and she had tried her very best to excel in an arena that she was very new to.

So long as she was not being called an 'eejit', Lily hope that it meant she was doing passably well. Mr McCarthy certainly labelled his own cousin as an 'eejit' far more than he did Lily.

Lily had copied our Mr McCarthy's letters immediately after he had asked her, and nearly a week and a half later, a response had come from Norwood Mills in Yorkshire.

As soon as the letter had arrived, Lily had run it into Mr McCarthy's office and he had all but snatched it off of her, as though it was water, and he was a week stranded in a desert.

It was an odd difference to notice between what she was used to, and what was before her, but Lily had always observed her father slicing open his letters with his butter knife over breakfast. Every morning, it was the same thing. He would pick up his silver knife and run it through the wax seal to break it.

Mr McCarthy was far too impatient for that. He also lacked the adequate silverware. But the comparison affected Lily for a moment of homesickness.

Mr McCarthy was not awaiting an invitation to a dinner or a party. The look of desperation and anxiety in his green eyes was extreme, and Lily felt her stomach clench as her employer pored over the contents of the letter.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," he whispered to himself as his eyes widened.

"What?" inquired Lily. "What is it?"

Mr McCarthy looked up at her, and for the first time in the three or so weeks that Lily had been working for him, he offered her a genuine smile of delight. Or was it relief?

Whatever it was, it made Mr McCarthy appear more youthful than ever. Ten years was taken off of his face immediately as he cried, "Fionn! That eejit is never around when I need him. Fionn!"

"I'm coming!" Mr Maguire shouted, his voice coming in the direction of the courtyard. "Can't a man use the privy in peace anymore?" he complained. He appeared shortly afterwards and came to stand beside Lily. "What are you on about then?"

"Norwood Mills have offered me seven pence a pound." Mr McCarthy laughed with delight. "I know it's not the original nine, but it's going somewhere!" His smile only grew as he leapt out of his chair and flew around his desk just as Mr Maguire met him.

"Thank God for that!" Mr Maguire cried happily.

Mr McCarthy's cousin had reacted with the same display of happiness and relief, and the two men embraced. Mr McCarthy kissed Mr Maguire on the cheek roughly, before he turned to Lily.