A Secret Ambition

XXI

"You fell in love with a storm. Did you really think you would get out unscathed?" Nikita Gill

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XXI.

Lily had been correct. She had barely slept a minute before the sun had risen the following day. She rose from her bed well before the maids would come in, and she found herself sitting at her writing desk. Before she had even properly taken a breath, she had drafted a letter of resignation.

She had battled with her conscience all night, more so than ever before. Her harmless little lie had snowballed so quickly out of control that Lily felt as though she was handling something ablaze, and it was very rapidly burning her fingertips.

If she dropped it, however, her entire world would catch alight, and not only her world. That was the battle she was fighting most. The sheer damage that the truth would do.

Lily knew that the only option that would cause the least amount of damage for the present was to resign. That was not to say that she would not confess the truth to both Callan and her father in the future, but for now, Lily knew that Callan needed her father far more than he required her services.

Lily would debut under her birth name anyway ... and she would make herself very scarce if ever her father entertained Callan at Ashwood Place now that she had moved to her parents' house for the Season. She was certain the Season would pass in a blue anyway, and she would be safely home in Hertfordshire in no time.

Lily dressed herself simply and brushed her hair back into a bun with no embellishment. Looking upon her face in the mirror, it was obvious that she had not slept. She looked tired and anxious, and that was because she was. And she had no one to blame but herself.

Despite now being with her parents, her uncle's carriage still arrived promptly to take her to her harp tutor's home. Lily was thankful that her family had not risen at the time she was to depart as she was certain that her appearance would have roused their concerns, and Lily had very few untruths left in her.

As the carriage jostled along, Lily gripped the folded letter in her hands so tightly that she was probably smudging the ink beyond recognition. Nonetheless, she tried to remain calm by taking some deep breaths.

Once Lily had departed the carriage and had rounded the corner to walk towards Callan's office, she was surprised to see him waiting in the open doorway. He was standing, hands on his hips, appearing to search through the processions of people going about their business that morning. But the moment he spotted her walking over, he smiled ...

... and Lily's heart felt the immense pain of it.

Callan did not wait for Lily to reach him. In fact, he leapt down the few steps in one large jump, before he jogged over to her. He cared not that they were quite in public as he surprised Lily by pulling her into a tight hug. The differences in their height meant that Callan had to lean over quite a bit to embrace her, but he had no time for being a hunch back. He straightened his posture and brought Lily up with him, the ground disappearing from beneath her feet.

There was excitement in his embrace, but there was also such tenderness, and Lily could have quite easily gotten lost in that moment. She almost did. She had never before been held in such a way, and never by someone that she cared about the way she did Callan.

And it was at the strength in his arms, yet the softness that she sensed, that made Lily wonder if, perhaps, her feelings were returned.

"I feel like I've been waiting an age for you to arrive this morning, and yet I know you are exactly on time," Callan murmured, his voice muffled thanks to the tufts of Lily's hair in his face. It was only then that he released her, and as Lily's feet were once again on the earth, so were Callan's.