The vampire diaries part 1 (The Awakening)

Chapter Six

September 26 Dear Diary,

 I'm sorry it's been so long, and I can't really explain why I haven't written—except that there areso many things I feel frightened to talk about, even to you.

 First, the most terrible thing happened.

 The day that Bonnie and Meredith and I were at thecemetery, an old man was attacked there, and almost killed. The police still haven't found theperson who did it.

 People think the old man was crazy, because when he woke up he startedraving about "eyes in the dark" and oak trees and things. But I remember what happened t usthat night, and I wonder. It scares me.

 Everyone was scared for a while, and all the kids had to stay inside after dark or go out in groups.But it's been about three weeks now, and no more attacks, so the excitement is dying down. AuntJudith says it must have been another vagrant that did it. 

Tyler Smallwood's father evensuggested that the old man might have done it to himself—though I would like to see somebodybite himself in the throat.But mostly what I've been busy with is Plan B. As far as it goes, it's been going well. I've gottenseveral letters and a bouquet of red roses from "Jean-Claude" (Meredith's uncle is a florist), andeverybody seems to have forgotten that I was ever interested in Stefan. So my social position'ssecure. Even Caroline hasn't been making any trouble. 

In fact, I don't know what Caroline is doing these days, and I don't care. I never see her at lunchor after school anymore; she seems to have drawn away from her old crowd completely.There's only one thing I do care about right now. Stefan.Even Bonnie and Meredith don't realize how important he is to me. I'm afraid to tell them; I'mafraid they'll think I'm crazy. At school I wear a mask of calm and control, but on the inside—well, every day it just gets worse.Aunt Judith has started to worry about me. She says I don't eat enough these days, and she's right.I can't seem to concentrate on my classes, or even on anything fun like the Haunted Housefund-raiser. I can't concentrate on anything but him.

 And I don't even understand why.He hasn't spoken to me since that horrible afternoon. But I'll tell you something strange. Lastweek in history class, I glanced up and caught him looking at me. We were sitting a few seatsapart, and he was turned completely sideways in his desk, just looking. 

For a moment I felt almostfrightened, and my heart started pounding, and we just stared at each other —and then he lookedaway. But since then it's happened twice more, and each time I felt his eyes on me before I sawthem. This is the literal truth. I know it's not my imagination.He isn't like any boy I've ever known.He seems so isolated, so lonely. Even though it's his own choice. He's made quite a hit on thefootball team, but he doesn't hang around with any of the guys, except maybe Matt. Matt's theonly one he talks to. He doesn't hang around with any girls, either, that I can see, so maybe thenarc rumor is doing some good. 

But it's more like he's avoiding other people than they're avoidinghim. He disappears in between classes and after football practice, and I've never once seen him inthe cafeteria. He's never invited anybody to his room at the boarding house. He never visits thecoffee shop after school .So how can I ever get him someplace where he can't run from me? This is the real problem withPlan B. Bonnie says, "Why not get stuck in a thunderstorm with him, so you have to huddletogether to conserve body warmth?" And Meredith suggested that my car could break down infront of the boarding house. But neither of those ideas is practical, and I'm going insane trying tocome up with something better .Every day it's getting worse for me. 

I feel as if I were a clock or something, winding up tighter andtighter. If I don't find something to do soon, I'll—I was going to say "die."The solution came to her quite suddenly and simply.She felt sorry about Matt; she knew he'd been hurt by the Jean-Claude rumor.