The vampire diaries part 1 (The Awakening)

Chapter Fourteen

Elena felt her flesh creep at the words. 

"You don't mean that," she said shakily. She remembered what she had seen on the roof, the bloodsmeared on Stefan's lips, and she forced herself not to recoil from him. "Stefan, I know you. You couldn'thave done that..." 

He ignored her protestations, just went on staring with eyes that burned like the green ice at the bottomof a glacier. He was looking through her, into some incomprehensible distance. "As I lay in bed that night,I hoped against hope that she would come. Already I was noticing some of the changes in myself. I couldsee better in the dark; it seemed I could hear better. I felt stronger than ever before, full of someelemental energy

. And I was hungry."It was a hunger I had never imagined. At dinner I found that ordinary food and drink did nothing tosatisfy it. I couldn't understand that. And then I saw the white neck of one of the serving girls, and I knewwhy." He drew a long breath, his eyes dark and tortured. "That night, I resisted the need, though it tookall my will. I was thinking of Katherine, and praying she would come to me. Praying!" He gave a shortlaugh. "If a creature like me can pray."Elena's fingers were numb within his grasp, but she tried to tighten them, to send him reassurance. "Goon, Stefan."He had no trouble speaking now. He seemed almost to have forgotten her presence, as if he were tellingthis story to himself."The next morning the need was stronger. It was as if my own veins were dry and cracked, desperate formoisture. I knew that I couldn't stand it for long."I went to Katherine's chambers.

 I meant to ask her, to plead with her—" His voice cracked. He pausedand then went on. "But Damon was there already, waiting outside her rooms. I could see that he hadn'tresisted the need. The glow of his skin, the spring in his step, told me that. He looked as smug as the catwho's had the cream."But he hadn't had Katherine. 'Knock all you like,' he said to me, 'but the female dragon inside won't letyou past. I've tried already. Shall we overpower her, you and I?'"I wouldn't answer him. The look on his face, that sly, self-satisfied look, repelled me. I pounded on thatdoor to wake..." He faltered, and then gave another humorless laugh. "I was going to say, 'to wake thedead.' But the dead aren't so hard to wake after all, are they?" After a moment, he went on."The maid, Gudren, opened the door. She had a face like a flat white plate, and eyes like black glass. Iasked her if I could see her mistress. I expected to be told that Katherine was asleep, but instead Gudrenjust looked at me, then at Damon over my shoulder." 'I would not tell him ,' she said at last, 'but I will tell you. My lady Katerina is not within. She went outearly this morning, to walk in the gardens.

 She said she had much need of thought.'"I was surprised. 'Early this morning?' I said." 'Yes,' she replied. She looked at both Damon and me without liking. 'My mistress was very unhappylast night,' she said meaningfully. 'All night long, she wept.'"When she said that, a strange feeling came over me. It wasn't just shame and grief that Katherine shouldbe so unhappy. It was fear. I forgot my hunger and weakness. I even forgot my enmity for Damon.

 I wasfilled with haste and a great driving urgency. I turned to Damon and told him that we had to findKatherine, and to my surprise he just nodded."We began to search the gardens, calling Katherine's name. I remember just what everything looked likethat day. The sun was shining on the high cypress trees and the pines in the garden. Damon and I hurriedbetween them, moving more and more quickly, and calling. We kept calling her..."Elena could feel the tremors in Stefan's body, communicated to her through his tightly gripping fingers. Hewas breathing rapidly but shallowly."We had almost reached the end of the gardens when I remembered a place that Katherine had loved. Itwas a little way out onto the grounds, a low wall beside a lemon tree. I started there, shouting for her. 

But as I got closer, I stopped shouting. I felt... a fear—a terrible premonition. And I knew Imustn't—mustn't go—""Stefan!" said Elena. He was hurting her, his fingers biting into her own, crushing them. The tremorsracing through his body were growing, becoming shudders. "Stefan, please!"But he gave no sign that he heard her. "It was like—a nightmare—everything happening so slowly. Icouldn't move—and yet I had to. I had to keep walking. With each step, the fear grew stronger. I couldsmell it. A smell like burned fat. I mustn't go there—I don't want to see it—"His voice had become high and urgent, his breath coming in gasps. His eyes were wide and dilated, like aterrified child's. Elena gripped his viselike fingers with her other hand, enfolding them completely. "Stefan,it's all right. You're not there. You're here with me.""I don't want to see it—but I can't help it. There's something white. Something white under the tree. Don'tmake me look at it!""Stefan, Stefan, look at me!"