For You who...

Eight

I like someone again. I think I can't really stop myself from being like this. I want to shower this person with affection but I'm afraid he will be creeped out. I'm scared of myself. I remember unimportant details and I try to keep it to myself but it keeps going out. I told him I like him. He said thanks and I know I might have been rejected again. He just don't know how to do it clearly but I know I have to move on. I'm getting tired of this cycle. I like someone, I tell them I like them, they reject me and I need to move on. I am not attractive. Am I really attracted to these people or am I just scared to grow old alone? Am I just being pressured by what I see around me? I don't know. Right now, I think I really like him. I just know that I won't do anything other than confessing. I know one of these days, probably within a week or two, I'll find out a clear answer on whether I should move on or not. I'm so stupid. Why give him a grace period when it is quite clear that he is not interested at all?Why am I so dumb in this one?Gosh, I really wish he would like me back. But I still think that's far from possible. His friends are just probably having fun teasing me because they knew I like him. Should I stop? I know I might only get hurt and that's how stupid I am. I'll probably just end up crying again. Haist. I hate this part of me.

But maybe he likes me too. Or I'm just getting ahead of myself too much.