For You who...

Fourth

Balik tayo sa iyo. Sa iyo naman talaga nagsimula ito hindi ba? Hindi sa gusto ko kitang guluhin pero siguro namimiss ko lang talaga ikaw. Nakakamiss din kasi yung kakausapin kita at hindi awkward. Ewan ko. Siguro sakin lang naman awkward. Sa'yo naman e hindi e. Hindi naman sa sinasabi kong apektado pa rin ako. Sadyang nasanay na akong hindi kita masyadong kinakausap. Natatakot na nga akong kausapin ka kapag wala akong kailangan kasi feeling ko lagi mas awkward. Kahit nga may kailangan ako e hindi talaga ako nagsasabi sa'yo. Maybe it was just my ego. Hindi ko alam. Alam mo bang hindi naman ako nagbago? Kaibigan pa rin ang turing ko sa'yo. I miss calling you best. I miss hearing your rants. I miss your advice kahit hindi naman ako mahilig humingi nang advice sa iyo. I miss our friendship. Sana, kahit yun lang. I want to get in touch again. But nahihiya ako sa iyo, sa inyo, sa kayo. Kahit sabihin kong I miss calling you, hindi naman kita pwedeng basta tawagan para sabihing namimiss kita hindi ba? I can't even text you. I have your number, you have mine pero that doesn't mean that I can always call you. It's hard to think na hindi ka na kagaya nang dati. You're not always available. I know, I understand, college life is difficult for all of us. We have different schedules din. Nakakatawang isipin hindi ba? Don't you remember that time that we said goodbye to each other? Pakiramdam natin hindi na tayo ulit magkikita. Twice pa nga yata tayong nagpaalam e. It was funny kasi hindi naman talaga tayo nagkahiwalay. We were enrolled in the same school pero feeling ko applicable yung goodbye natin. We lost in touch. You were so near yet so far. We were walking the same path but seldomly stop to greet or smile. We've created our own little worlds. Slowly keeping each other outside. When will our worlds collide? Ah yeah. It happened some of the times but it was as rare as diamonds, that when it happened, it was too precious. I guess that was just how our friendship goes like. This kind of friendship that was hurting. If only I knew that we will still be in the same university, I shouldn't have confessed. Maybe if not, I can still act as normal. But with or without me confessing, you will still like her. She's pretty, she's kind. And I respect her so much that I don't even think of doing crazy stuffs against her. Dear, both of you are important to me. Your happiness matters for me. Kaya sana, I can see you happy. Just please, if I asked you how are you, please be honest. I don't want to hear I'm fine when your eyes speak differently. You are important to me best. I know I'm holding too much on our memories but if it's the only thing that will keep me from being sad, I'll continue holding on. I am always your friend. I'm just one call away if you need me again.