Tinkering Hearts

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Zaelia

Three years ago

"You weren't supposed to see that," Charity says, avoiding my eyes. "And you definitely weren't supposed to jump into my matters like that."

"Uh-huh. So why don't we start with the part about why you never told me those people were bullying you again?"

"I don't owe you an explanation," Charity snaps. She kicks the stones from the gravel. "Just forget you ever saw that, Zee." 

"Chi! I'm your best friend. And you can't leave me hanging like that! How long has this been going on? When did the bullying start again?! Did they ever even stop?!"

"Can you just mind your own fucking business?!" 

I flinch at her words, cutting so deep. How did we get to this point? God knows what could have been if I hadn't shown up coincidently in that alleyway. "Charity! Stop walking away from us! You have been shutting all of us out lately. You know you can talk to us."

"None of you would understand."

"Try us?"

She scoffs. I firm my voice again, "We're always here for you, Chi. No matter what."

"You're not the one with divorced parents. You're not the one who has to save a drunk ass and caress a broken heart. You're not the one who parents three children at home just 'cause their own parents don't give a fuck about them. You're definitely not the weak nerd who just keeps falling into creative kinds of blackmail." She sighs. "My point is. None of you would understand. So STOP trying to care about being there for me when you're so clueless about how anything in this cruel world works. Don't kid yourself."

A bubble of anger forms within me. How can she think that?! "Charity, we were able to help you before and we can do this together again. All of us. Naureen, Sicre, Amer, you and I—"

"And were you able to help me before?" She turns to me furiously and I see a glimmer of tears filling up her eyes under the lamppost. "Would your Royal Presumptious ass believe it if I say you made it worse than last time?"

"But you were happy after we fought them off..."

She looks at me with pitying eyes. My stomach knots up in guilt. That's what she made us think. "This time it could be different—"

"Stop."

"We can make sure they never come near you—"

"Zee, stop."

"I can't let this keep happening to you. Who do those bitches think—"

"ZAELIA! I don't want your help! I don't want you all to do anything with me or for me! I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING PROTECTION!—"

"STOP TELLING YOURSELF THAT!"

"SAY WHAT?!"

"THAT YOU'RE ALONE!"

"AREN'T I THOUGH?!"

Tears brim my eyes. What is she thinking?! What happened to sweet Charity? Why are we all like this?!

"You know what, Chi?" I turn to her, hands balled into fists tightly by my side, blinded with rage. "Fuck. You."

I turn away, rubbing furiously at my face with my sleeves. She thinks she's alone? So be it. She thinks we aren't there for each other? So be it. I'm sick of running behind her while she stays stubborn. I rub my eyes again.

This isn't my fault. I'm not the one letting this friendship fall apart. Charity did it all. She needs to get over herself.

. * ● ¸ .