Tinkering Hearts

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Zaelia,

Please don't skin me alive after you read this. God, this is intimidating. I don't even know where to begin. I haven't written a handwritten letter to anyone before. Not even to my parents! Get it? LOL.

Before I say anything, if you haven't got any of your memories back, crumble this paper up and throw it away right now. If you did get them all back, then you shall continue. Knowing you, you wouldn't throw it away. So I made sure Amer gives this to you only after confirming you remember everything.

Appa, eomma, Sienna, and I settled in Seattle in the eighth grade. I was excited for my first day of school. I was sweating balls too because of the nervousness! My life before that was OK. I used to study at an international private school in Seoul. Plus we had money. I got the best treatment wherever I set foot. Kids used to befriend me 'cause of my reputation and wealth. I didn't understand them at that time. In fact, I used to think taking them on shopping sprees was a love language. Can you believe how dumb I used to be?

Everything changed in RA though. I found Amer by the end of my eighth grade in a Math Trivia competition. They partnered us up. Before him, I used to lurk down the hallways alone, minding my own business. I didn't get special treatment here. Nobody knew my parents were billionaires. My parents themselves asked me to keep a low profile here. We came here to expand our business. And apparently, there were people who wanted to sabotage us.

Anyway, the moment I sat at the table with Amer in the cafeteria, my eyes darted to this seventh-grader. She had funny-colored caramel-brown hair. Her eyes were the perfect shade of brown. She had on black-framed glasses that weren't considered too nerdy back then. She had glitter under her eyes and when she grinned, her smile reached her eyes, and her cheeks puffed in a cute way. I even noticed a very slight dimple at the corner of her mouth which would easily go unnoticed. But it didn't. I was drawn in. I was drawn in by you.

You reached out to shake hands first when I put down my lunch. "Hey! I'm Zaelia. You can call me, Zee!" That dimple... I remembered thinking. I shrugged out the feeling and shook hands with you. Little did I know, I was signing up for something with someone who'd make me see the world for the first time. I realized how closed off and left out I was from everything. You made me see things so differently. There was no minute that went by without a peal of laughter falling out of me. Genuine happiness. That's what I felt.

I developed a crush on you! It was so mini. But it just got bigger. I started shying away from you, but you shoved me toward yourself asking me to hang out with you all the time. Not a good move, Zee. You have no idea what you did to my insides!

I had best friends. So many of you. So true. So real. You, Charity, Naureen, and Amer.

Two years went by so fast. I wish to rewind through it all. Soon I was a sophomore and you were a freshman. All of us were still inseparable. We would let nobody ruin what we all had. A connection. I know now, that it was love. I loved all of you. But all the happiness was just some sort of foreshadowing.

When Chi sent us that recording from a building's rooftop, you were the one to run first. You were there. You saw her there. Laying sprawled out. The rest of us didn't even believe it was true. We heard a few hours later on the news. I regret it so much, Zee. You dashed without any second thoughts to the building because you knew something we didn't. You were close to all of us. You saw me. You saw Charity. You took us into your heart. You caressed us.

You were tinkering our hearts.

But I guess nobody was able to get through Charity. I had no right to blame it all on you. I was foolish. Blinded by grief and rage. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry a million times. I'm sorry. I regret everything. I regret it all. I regret. I regret.