Trapped in the Past (Tom Riddle x Reader)

9 - Unexpected

You're crying hard when you finally reach your room. And Ellie is there.
You can't afford to cry, since your body is screaming for the crazy run you forced yourself into.
And yet you totally lost control over your body today.

"What the hell happened?".
You drop on your knees and grab Ellie's edges of her robes, begging "Just kill me. I can't deal with this".
She pulls you up, making you sit on your bed.
"Hey, calm down. Care to explain?".
You cover your face with your hands. Everything feels wrong.
"I want to be numb. And not feeling ashamed nor humiliated nor anything".
"Did someone hurt you?".
Yes, Myrtle. Yes, my mind. Yes, my heart-
"No, I hurt myself".
"What have you done?".
You sob louder and drop yourself down, hiding your face in your pillow.
Even if Ellie insists, you don't manage to confess what you dared to do.
And she arrived to the conclusion that it's Riddle who rejected you and broke your heart.
Maybe she's not so mislead. Maybe that's what's going to happen next.
You can't stop wondering how Riddle deals with it. You bet he's used to it, having most of girls swooning around him. And you hate him for that. And you hate yourself for just falling like everyone else. You should know that gorgeous faces are not enough. But he's too perfect, everything about him is so attractive.
It's a mess.
You're a mess.
And you despair for hours, but eventually the anguish has some mercy on you and you can rest.

In the morning you have your lessons and homeworks and many things that can distract you.
You don't need to think of how his lips are so soft and warm that you wished to kiss him forever...
You're so tired of how uncontrollable your thoughts are that you almost wish to obliviate yourself.
But how can you forget about kissing him?
And again, it's like a tongue teasing the aching tooth, like a sword twisting painfully in your heart again and again.

You grow dependant on others' company. You avoid the Slytherin Prefect as much as possible.
The castle is so big that it seems easy to achieve that.
But as soon as you exited your last lesson for the day, a familiar voice addresses you.

"Miss Y/L/N?".
He doesn't sound angry, nor annoyed, not in love.
It's just blank.
Maybe amused? Mocking?
You can't believe that twenty four hours earlier you kissed that mouth that can be so cruel and hissing mean words.
You turn and look at everything but his face.

"A word, please" Riddle says.
You turn red, wishing to melt and disappear under the floor.
Ellie raises a brow at your reaction, but Tom pulls your arm, guiding you to a corner where nobody can spy on you.