Cold Coffee | 𝐉. 𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨 ✓

9

9

[Lee Saeyan]
30th Apr 2023

            I hated this waiting game we played. I longed to see your face, your smile and listen to you talk. I yearned for your presence in my life every day, every passing minute of the day. But you didn't show up. You never did. Two weeks became four, four became eight and eight became sixteen. Sixteen weeks were gone, and I still longed for you. Even though I knew the truth, about you not showing up. It was heart wrenching, I felt myself shatter a million times, into a million of pieces. I missed you a lot.

             I would hallucinate sometimes. I would picture you sitting by the window booth, with your laptop, and a hot cup of coffee. The bitter kind. Your usual. I'd smile at you, but you never did. I wondered why. Until I'd wake up to the reality and find that booth empty.

             I missed you. I felt angry at myself for ever letting it happen. I should've...

             I would check my phone every once in a while, check whether you had texted me and I had forgotten to see it due to work. But, every time I saw the screen of my phone, I was met with disappointment. You didn't text me. You never did. And you never could.

            Your ignorance was like a dagger to my heart, and you were twisting it in deeper. Why didn't you...

             I recall the morning I last saw you, heard you talk to me, saw you smile, felt your warm skin against mine; the morning I left you a note with my phone number on it. Is it why you're avoiding me? Because of the note?

             I only wrote:

            "Keep smiling genuinely, Yunho. You've got a great one. I'll see you tomorrow, right and not after two weeks...?"

             Are you mad at me because of that?

             Where are you, Yunho?

             Why haven't you contacted me?

             Can't you see I'm driving myself crazy over you?

             I love you, for God's sake. Just, come back to me.

             But you were never coming back to me, were you? That, the morning you offered me coffee would be the last time I'd ever see you. You knew it. But you didn't tell me. You never let me know. I have only question for you, Yunho. Why?

              Regardless.

              One day, you'd come to me, I know of it. And till the day you come back to me, I'll keep a cup of coffee by the window booth. Every day I will. And I will vulnerably watch it go cold.