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15

15

[Jeong Yunho]
> 9th Mar 2023

      "If you really like this girl so much, you gotta make a move before it gets too late," San chirped, sitting next to me on the couch. "She's not going to wait for you to make a move."

      I took a sip of my beer, "I really want to. I want to tell her how I feel about her, but it's..." sighing, I gulped down the entire bottle before turning to him, "I'm scared, a little nervous and a coward to express how I feel about her. The fear of rejection never leaves me alone."

      "You don't have to make any grand gestures. Little things can go a long way." San suggests, taking a sip of beer from his bottle, "be a gentleman, and I know you are, but show it to her. She's a lady, walk her home, give her a hand at the cafe, help her and try to understand what she needs."

      "Walk her home?" I mused, eyes straining to catch the time reading on the clock. Mere minutes before you closed the cafe and made your way home. I needed to get my move on if I wanted to walk you home.

      I got up from the couch, ran a hand through my hair to fix it, and chewed on him to get rid of the stench of beer I drank. I rushed out of the apartment, leaving San behind to fend for himself. I heard a few curses leave his mouth from behind when I closed the door.

      I was in time. Fortunately. I had ten minutes to spare, so I spend them while standing outside the cafe, tapping my feet and glancing at my watch every now and then. The frequent glimpses of you through the glass windows caused my heart to burst into flames. And then, you walked out, with Wooyoung in your pursuit. You stayed back to lock the doors, while Wooyoung marched on his way.

      He stopped a step short to me, offering me a delicate smile, he greeted. "Oh, have a great night."

      He continued with his walk, disappearing around the corner. In ticking seconds, under the haze of moonlight, I felt myself drawn towards to you. I was nervous. Anxious of what to say and what not to. I had to choose my words carefully. But mustering some courage from my heart, I spelled out the words wrecking havoc in my mind.

      "Can I walk you home?"

      And we were on our way after. You were shy, timid to talk about yourself or to even initiate a conversation. So I broke the ice and soon, I learnt a thing or two about you. It was an awakening revelation to know you lived close by me, meagrely a block away from my apartment. All this while, we were so close to each other, yet so far. I wanted to confess right there and then, albeit, I knew so little about you. Thinking, we talked vaguely, searching basic questions and answering them honestly. There were times where you lied to me; those were trivial questions however, and I didn't care.

     "I never learnt your name..." I trailed off, whispering my words into the dead of the night and wondering if you'd believe me. I knew your name, Saeyan. I heard it the day I first saw you at the bar breaking up with your boyfriend.

      "Lee Saeyan." You were holding your blush in, trying to avoid getting flustered in front of me. I held back every urge to cup your face and bring it close to me so that I could kiss you wholeheartedly.

      I told you I found your name unique, told you how I resonate your name with the moon because of its meaning. You were confused, bewildered listening to my explanation; but then I had to make it clear to you, why you were so significant to me and why your name was beautifully meant for me to call out. Silence took over soon, but I gushed in my mind, replaying the sound of your soft giggles and the way you uttered your own name, the picture of you blushing had already burnt in the back of my mind.

      "Do you have a boyfriend?" I ask regardless knowing you had broken up.

      "No." there was more to it, the way you eyes turned away from me, the way your lips moved under the moonlight—you were hiding something.

      But I hadn't forgotten about your response. It gave me hope. Only, I really hoped it wasn't the false one.