"Hey, your coffee's gone cold."
A tale of two love-starved souls, who would only ever meet over a cup of coffee.
#1 in heartbreak series
[mature: depiction of suicide] [complete]
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19
Jeong Yunho > 13th Apr 2023
I found your note the other day. It was wedged in between the rough draft of my book; I read it over countless times, until I realised what you meant by it. It made me think. It made me laugh. The life I was living, it wasn't for me. It was all for others, trying to please others.
I never earned for myself. I never wrote for myself. I never smiled for myself. I never... I never wanted a literature degree. I never want a broken life. I never wanted my parents to separate. I never wanted this life.
What was I living for? I wasn't living for myself. It struck me in different ways, how vulnerable I was to please others than myself. My priorities were others, not myself. The thought of disappearing forever was a force of habit, and this time, it had taken all over my body. Who would even care if I was gone? Quite frankly, everyone would. Because they depend on me. You do too, Saeyan. You depend on me to make your life better, but in reality, you're depending on a person who needs to sort his first.
I should've been more upfront with you, should've told you my reasons to end it this way. I feel so helpless all the time, and it gets worse every time I see your face, Saeyan. Cause I'm just another failure in your eyes. We could've worked things out between us, for the better. Sorry Saeyan, I have to go. But promise me, you'll look up at the moon every night and make a wish. I won't force you to think about me, think about crucial things, think about people important to you.
Everything came to me in the form of waves, and those waves climbed higher and higher up my soul till my mind was plagued. I laid in the bathtub, filled to the brim with water; crimson slashes along my arms, and a lifeless plea stuck in my throat. "Goodbye."
There's a piping hot mug of coffee on the table and it's gone cold.
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FIN.
a/n: this was a feeble attempt at writing angst. the writing here is a little different because the characters are reminiscing of the days... i dont know how this book turned out to be but thank you for reading.
