More Than you Know

He's Disappointed

Summary: you and Ari talk, but it's not what you wanted to hear.

Pairings: Ari X Reader

Rating: mild

Warnings: mentions of a character death, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 1.3K

"Hey, little man," Ari says excitedly scooping Angel up to spin the two of them around. Blowing raspberries on his neck, while he has a giggle fit pushing the big man away. "Where's your mom?"

"Hers in the kitchen," he wiggles his hand, telling Ari to come closer before whispering, "Her is bringing over her car friend."

"Angel," you look at your beautiful baby who giggles back to Ari. "How about you clean up your toys out of the living room. You can still play, just take it into the bedroom," he kicks his legs to coax Ari to put him on the floor, before gathering up his random toys to trash his bedroom. At least there's a door.

"Don't give me that look," you groan, making your way back into the kitchen to finish up supper. "Do you even knock anymore?"

"I don't have to. You gave me a key, and if you ask for it back to give to someone else...the answer is no," you roll your eyes finishing up the salad, before moving on to the pasta. "I'm not invited to dinner am I?"

"Typically, I say come over whenever, but...it is kinda a date, and you tend to intimidate people," Ari goes silent watching you cook dinner, almost feeling like this was normal. You making dinner, as he watched with fascination, and Angel's loud playing is in the distant, but he never budged, and you didn't want to wait on him forever.

"Do you know even anything about this guy?"

"Do you?" Ari gives you a shrug, grabbing up a spoon to taste your sauce. "That means you do, you just don't want to tell me. Fine, keep your secrets. Always the secrets with Ari Levinson."

Sighing you grab a seat next to Ari, tapping the other bar stool for him to join you, before resting your head on his shoulder, "Tell me I'm moving to fast," nothing. Just silence. "Tell me something. Anything."

"You don't think it's too soon to involve LA?" such a bittersweet nickname that Ari, and only him, insisted that he called Angel.

"Angel has already met him. He was good with him, my baby liked him. He needs a father figure."

"I thought that's why you kept me around," you were feeling too close to Ari. Deciding it best to stand, while you assembled the lasagna. "I'm serious, I can...I come by everyday anyways."

"And what about me?" for very little words, the both of you knew how much you were saying, but he never responds. "I'm not saying Jax is perfect, but he's nice. I have fun with him, and he's eager to integrate into Angel's life."

"Have you told EZ or Felipe?"

"No. No, it's too new. They don't need to know. Felipe wants me to move on. That's what he was hoping this move would do for me. I just want...I want him back, but he was taken from me. From his son. We talked about kids. Always did. He wanted Angel so bad, and he never even knew about him. But four years I have been nothing but a mother. I forgot myself so I could give him everything. But I can't give him a father, unless I put myself out there. My baby deserves that. He'll be starting school and have kids that have this perfect little home life."

"He'll have kids who are in foster care, kids they are adopted, kids being raised by grandparents. He's not alone. You know he's not."

"I don't want to do this alone."

Your eyes finally drift over to Ari, holding his gaze for a moment, before looking back at the pasta, "You're not doing it alone. I'm here."

"You know what I mean."

"And Jax is gonna give you that?"

"He has," Ari rolls his eyes, his ringed fingers tapping on the counter, before sighing. "I get it. You said you weren't crossing that line."

Ari knows what he said. He also said it to you a few months after Angel had passed. Knowing you needed to heal before jumping into something. And slowly the months drug. Years in between, and he wished he'd let it be known he wanted to wait until you were ready.

"I should probably go."

"Ari, Angel loves you."

"I know he does."

"You're the only father he's ever known. And I thank you, but I need a a partner. I'm not saying Jax is the one. I'm saying, I'm exploring this."

"And bringing my...your son for the ride. It's too soon."

"My son Ari. He's mine," he starts to walk towards your front door while you follow him. "Say what you're going to say. You think I'm making a mistake, but you won't step up."

"Ask your boyfriend how he knew Angel," you stop cold in your tracks, shaking your head at him. "He knew Angel. Show him his bike, and you see how he reacts."

"Ari."

"I'm not getting involved."

"You already did. Just...how does he know Angel?"

He finally walks up to you, his large thumb caressing your cheek softly. "I only said that to you, because you're more than a lay. You weren't ready for a physical relationship, you were grieving Angel."

"And now? What am I now?"

"Are you gonna kiss?" Angel comes bounding into the living room, his arms circling your leg tightly, while those dark brown eyes stare up at Ari, and back at you, neither of you looking away from each other. "If you do kiss, can I call you, daddy? Or do I still need to call you Ari? Is the car man still coming for dinner? Mommy, why aren't you answering me?"

"Angel, go play."

"No."

"Little man, listen to your mom," Angel may pout. He may blow up an annoyed puff of air, but he does indeed walk away. Ari whispers your name. His thumb tracing circles onto hour cheek, "The choice has always been yours."

"How does Jax know Angel?" Ari shakes his head no, his hand fluttering around your hip, wanting to pull you closer to him. "Ari, please."

"The tears in your eyes tell me you have an idea," the absurdity. All of it. None of it makes sense. While you enjoyed Jax, and you could make things work, you had waited on the man next door. "He should be the one to tell you."

"I'm always gonna be waiting on you, huh? Well, if you've got nothing more to say. I'll see you later."

"I can take LA with me. He doesn't...I don't want him attached."

"Because he's already attached to you? Just leave."

That's the last thing Ari wants. He wants to pull you tight to his chest, and tell you that he could make all the pain go away. Jax had no idea what he was walking into when he asked you on a date. Didn't know that he was the one responsible for you having a child with no father. What a small world it was to have the man that murdered your son's father be the same man you couldn't stay away from.

Several weeks had passed, and he saw the late nights of Jax sneaking into your house. Watched as the arrogant man stayed the night, leaving before Angel woke up. Jax didn't even care what he did. He just cared about getting laid. He didn't even care about your son, how could he?

Ari stews watching as that stupid bike rolls into your driveway, doesn't even knock, just walks in. Getting a warm welcome from you, before the happiest little boy walks in. Bashfully looking up at Jax, before giving him a handshake. It only tends to make Ari more angry. Making a note that he needs to get you some blinds.

Ari left the choice up to you, and it seemed you had chosen. Chosen the man that murdered Angel, the man you were supposed to marry. Unable to deal with this anymore, he tosses his cigarette, before going on his own ride. Sure that he could find some girl to keep him warm, while you entertained Jax in your bed. This isn't at all how he thought things were going to play out. And he's disappointed, but mostly in himself.