Daylight, paul aron

chapter four

-Fuck.

I finished sixteenth. To some that might be a good result, to me, it was practically failure. If I wasn't able to keep up I'd be out of a seat. It doesn't matter that it was my first race, that I was still 'getting used to a formula three car.' I felt like I was proving all the people skeptical of my racing abilities right.

After parking my car, I slowly got out. Ari finished second, Gabriel had won. I knew Oliver had also placed somewhere. Maybe third? I couldn't remember. I looked back at the cars, they were blending together. I'm going to cry, a voice told me. 'No' I responded.

If I kept my helmet on, no one would notice. I spotted Ari, Gabriel and Oliver talking to one another. I patted Gabriel and Ari on the back.

"Congratulations." I told all of them while trying to keep my voice steady and calm.

"You'll get us next time, Mags." Ari bumped his shoulder against mine. Oliver nodded and Gabriel gave me a thumbs up.

"I have to get back to the trailer." I pointed in the direction it was, taking a step away from them. Showing I was eager to get out of my racing gear.

"See you at the podium?" Gabriel questioned. I slowly nodded, knowing I wouldn't be there. I was a bad friend. How could I let my self-pity get in the way of celebrating their podiums.

I took my helmet and balaclava off when I knew I was away from everyone. I was in between two walls which had a narrow hall. No one would find me here. It was the perfect spot to just cry.
I crouched down, my back against the wall and just cried. I didn't want to see the disappointment on my mom's face, on my sister's, even on Teddy's. I replayed the scene of crossing the line over and over again. How did this happen?

I put my head in my lap and put my arms around my legs. What if my dad had been watching? What if he saw me? He probably thought I was a failure. He never thought much of me.

I heard shuffling and lifted my head. A figure was blocking the sunlight from coming in. I lifted my hand to my face to see who it was.

"Maggie? Are you alright." It was Paul. He had a concerned expression on his face. I just looked up at his face and wiped my eyes.

"I'm fine." I mumbled. Unsure whether he really heard me.

Paul walked closer and sat down next to me. We were both looking at the wall across from us.

"I understand how you're feeling. I didn't earn any points in this race. I heard an earful from my manager." He tore his eyes away from the wall and looked at me. "Sixteenth isn't a bad result. I think you did amazing. But I understand how you're feeling about yourself right now."

"Do you want me to stay?" He asked, tilting his head to match me. His body shifted a bit, facing me now. I really wanted to hug him. So I did. He reacted quickly, wrapping his arms around me. Like we did this all the time. Like we knew one another. I looked up at him.

"Yes, please." I saw Paul's lips twitch a little before his beautiful smile was back on his face. I rested my face against his chest and felt him gently caressing the back of my head.

A/n:
short chapter, hoping to upload another chapter before school starts for me. i listened to easy does it while writing this and cried. also, i changed the race results so some of you guys might be confused because of that.