you're all i want || jinkook

//37 - "Could be better"//

     "Hey Jin, why don't you go to break? We can handle up front," Jisung suggests, Changbin nodding next to him as they help Jin clean up his mess.

     He's been spacing out often since him and Jungkook last spoke, so much so that he's been making messes left and right all morning and he's been growing frustrated and angry at himself.

"It's ok, I'm fine," he says, almost in tears and Minho appears seconds later, squatting down in front of him.

"It'll be alright Jin, seriously. Go take 15 minutes."

He sighs and nods, getting up and taking the soiled towels to the back, tossing them in the laundry bin. He grabs his cigarettes and walks out the back door, lighting one and taking a huge puff. He closes his eyes as he blows out the smoke, resting his head on the wall. Just thinking about testifying and confronting that man already makes his anxious, but he knows it would be the right thing to do. He doesn't want anyone else to go through the same thing he did and if he can prevent it by saying his piece, then so be it.

Tears trickle down his cheeks and he swipes them clean, staring harshly at his cigarette. He doesn't want to do it alone though and the only ones who know what happened are Mr. Kim and Jungkook.

Pursing his lips, he takes his phone out and sends Taeyong a message and he responds right away, letting him know they can meet up after they get off work. He hasn't wronged him since they've been seeing each other and his gut hasn't warned him once when it comes to him. He knows it'll be tough to open up but if he were to have anyone standing by his side during this moment, it would be Taeyong. He will just have to prepare himself for tonight.

     Jungkook sneaks into his uncle's office once again, aware of the staff meeting going on at this time. He has roughly an hour or so to scan through the surveillance footage and he hopes to find something, anything, that'll help Jin's case. He surfs through the dates and finds one, it was the day Jin came home and went straight to his room. He watches closely as Jin's classmates exit the room except for him and he fast forwards until finally, Jin walks out. His heart breaks as he watches him limp down the hall with slumped shoulders, looking defeated and broken. He then recalls the other times around that, the little telltale signs of someone in need of help.

He clenches his fist in anger, both at himself and at Professor Cho. He noticed some of the signs, so why didn't he do anything? Why did he have to be such an asshole?

     He continues to look for more until the day Jin left and saves them all in the USB port he brought with him, quickly exiting out of the system and stuffing the file in his pocket. He leaves everything as it was when he got there and leaves, locking the door behind him and walking out of the office, only to bump into his uncle.

     "Oh hey," he says awkwardly and Ji-yong looks at him strangely.

     "What were you doing in the office?"

     "I was looking for you," he quickly musters up a lie, hoping his uncle believes him.

     "You knew I had a meeting today. I told you I would be out," he says, already suspicious of his nephew. "What do you need?"

Fuck.

"Um, I was bored so I wanted to come bother you, is all. I gotta go though, Yugyeom wants me to come hang out," he replies quickly and side steps around him, speed walking down the corridor.

Ji-yong watches him make his way down the hall and he can tell that Jungkook is up to something. He goes into his office and checks for any misplacements and he logs into his computer, going to the surveillance footage and starts deleting a few. He should've done it long ago but now that he knows Jungkook is snooping around, he can't take any chances. If anything were to happen, he'll gladly throw Professor Cho under the bus. He refuses to go down with him.

Jin paces back and forth in his kitchen as he waits for Taeyong to arrive. He said he was going to stop and pick up some take out on his way but he doesn't feel hungry. His heart is in his throat and he's already taken his meds, he's just waiting for it to kick in.

He jumps when he hears a knock on his door and wiping off his sweaty hands on his pants, he goes to open it and let Taeyong in.

"Hey, are you feeling ok?" He asks straight away as he sets the food down on the counter and he approaches him, resting the back of his right hand on Jin's forehead and the left on his own. Jin would react to this but his mind is racing, occupied by other things. However, the warmth of his hand begins to calm him and he sighs deeply.

"Could be better," he answers honestly and Taeyong leads him to his bed, instructing him to sit down.

"Don't force yourself. Let me know if you start feeling sick."
"I know and it's not even that. If I don't let this out now, I don't know when I'll ever do it."

Taeyong nods and asks to sit next to him, to which Jin grants him permission. He faces him and takes another deep breath.

"I never shared this at the SA meetings but I trust you enough to tell you, just us two."

     Taeyong nods and lets him proceed. The entire time Jin is telling him his story, he stutters and pauses frequently, processing along the way. This is the first time he's saying what he went through out loud and it makes it more real to him now that it's in the open. Thankfully, he's not given any pitiful looks like Jungkook or Mr. Kim would and instead, Taeyong listens patiently until the very end. Being empathetic, Taeyong starts to tear up and immediately, Jin apologizes.

     "Don't ever be sorry for something like that, seriously. It's disgusting what that man did to you and you most definitely did not deserve to be treated as such. It's not your fault that this happened, regardless of what anyone says. You were merely existing and he had the audacity to take advantage of you," he says. "It's a very difficult thing to process and accept that it happened but I'm here to support you and anything else you feel comfortable having me do. It's important to have a support system."

Jin nods.

"I'm sorry if that sounded clinical."
"No, it's fine. Thank you," Jin replies with a smile.

Taeyong asks for permission to hold his hand and Jin lets him. He grips it reassuringly. "You are a lot stronger than you think or feel. I believe you are and I'll be here every step of the way if you want me to."

"I do," he clutches his hand tighter. "I actually wanted to ask for a favor."

     "Anything."

     "There's a case being built against him and I was wondering if you could be there with me to testify and share my side. I don't know how long it'll take but I hope to be ready. I just think it'll be easier if I have you there."

     "Of course I'll go with you," he says with a smile.

     It feels like some of the weight on his chest has been lifted and he can't help but feel relief. This is a big step for him and like Taeyong said, with a good support system behind him, he might be able to make some progress.