breaking the truth

𝟙𝟞

I only got about an hour of sleep until I was forced to stay up from the nightmares. I made sure to not wake him up I was already a big problem for him I didn't need to be more of one.

So, I just sat there. In my unwanted thoughts by myself.

I need to come up with a plan, and quickly, before I get myself killed.

Noah started to Sture in his sleep it was around ten so he would be waking up soon.

Do I stay awake or fake being asleep. He would know if I was faking so I just stayed there looking at the white plain wall in front of me.

"How long have you been awake for," he asked looking over to me.

I turned to look at him "not long like an hour" he just nodded.

"How are you doing?" He asked I just gave him a dead look "right sorry stupid question." He got out of bed and went to the door "do you want breakfast?" I only shook my head in response.

He came back 15 minutes later with toast "here can you please eat this." I just looked at the toast that he gave me in silence. "They are wondering where you are, I told them I brought you over just to hang out." He came over and sat on the bed.

"Can you not tell them, I'm in a deal to protect her and I can't risk it, no matter what they do." I was looking at him now.

"Hey, I promise Caroline will not get hurt by them," he spoke softly. "We can move her you can tell dre about her she can be safe" he sounded like he was trying to convince himself not just me.

"No, you can't it's not the easy, she is with his men they can do anything in a snap of a finger if we go, they will not just kill her they will ruin her then kill her, I can't let that happen not until I know they can't do anything." I felt the tears falling down my face I don't care about wiping them anymore.

He slowly comes closer to me opening his arms and I accept it clinging onto him just sobbing.

"Why does it have to be like this, why can't I just live a normal life no mafias, no torcher, just normal" he rubs my back as I calm down.

"it's ok I know its ok, one fay it will all be better, and you will have your life that you want, all this stuff is here to make sure the good feels great," he whispers in my ear.

Around and hour later the tears have stopped, and I have become numb again "we need a plan." He looked at me after the sudden burst "we need a plan to kill maya and joe, kill all of their men, and get Caroline back." I got up off him.

"I have a plan, but you might not like it." I looked at him in the eyes he looked tiered all my drama makes him like this.

god why is maya and joes' words getting into my thoughts.

"I don't care if it works, I'll do it," I said back. At this point I am desperate for anything.

"Ok what if we fake date." I waited for the laugh, but it never came.

"What, how would that help the situation," I asked.

"Think about it if they think that we are dating then it would piss them off more maybe they would fall back a bit or maybe even stop in general." He looks hopeful. What is the worst that could happen.

"Ok let's do it," I said with a smile, anything to end this problem.

"Ok then let's do it, but one thing, no matter what happens nothing changes with us ok we are the same as 10 minutes ago." I nodded at his words.

"What are we going to tell my brothers?" I asked.

"It's up to you, but we should probably put on the façade for them too if we need to, we can tell them it's fake," he spoke softly still taking in last night.

"Yeah, we shouldn't let them know about maya and joe, yet Caroline is in danger and the less they know the safer we both are." I stood up "I'm going to go take a shower." I started walking to the bathroom.

"Hey scar, please be careful." I just looked at him a nodded, he had to tell me to be careful even doing a basic day to day thing. Why is my life like this.

When I get in the bathroom, I take my clothes off and look at the mirror, I don't typically allow myself to, but I did it. And I regrated it. I saw the scars that I just got more of yesterday, the bruises, the bites, the scratches. I hate it all. I hate the way I look. As I stair longer the 'worse' I see. The more I want to fix, I want to go away.

I looked away from the bathroom mirror and towards the shower looking at the soap he had.

It never changed. He still used the same soap he did from when I met him.

I quickly go into the shower, his words repeating in my head. hey scar, please be careful. So that is what I was I was being as carful as I could, but my skin still started turning red. God why was I like this. I couldn't even do one thing I was asked.

I quickly got out and redressed in a pair of sweats I looked down at my still red hands and hid them away in the oversized sleeves.

When I went out the door he was still in his bed where I had left him. His eyes scanned me and stopped on my hands.

"I'm sorry I really tried but it didn't work," I spoke quietly.

"It's ok, dre asked if we could go back now." I simply replied in a nod.

We both went out of his room down to his car I curled up into a ball and stayed like that the whole way back to the house.