Ex Lovers

Unwarranted Disappointments

I felt the bed I was semi-laying on, my hand touching sheets I wasn't familiar with. I opened my eyes slowly to look around but it didn't take too long for me to recognise where I was. White walls, machines to my left and right and the smell of hand sanitiser. I felt cold everywhere, even with a white cloth that covered me to my chest. When I turned to look to my right, I realised Elliot was sitting by my side, on a chair. His hand was on mine, barely holding on but it was still there, giving me comfort. I could tell I looked like sh*t but Elliot looked at me with a sweet smile that could make anyone feel better. 

When I looked back at him, I remembered that night and the look on his face that exhibited so many emotions. I also remembered asking him to leave whilst he was worried to death seeing me the way I was. I felt a pang in my chest out of guilt because Elliot was always there even when I didn't deserve him. 

I often wondered how one brother who was merely my brother-in-law could continue to love me, yet the man I married didn't hesitate to hate me in a matter of a few heartbeats. 

"How are you feeling Elle?" Elliot asked quietly as if his normal voice would do me harm. 

"I just have a horrible headache but I think I'm fine," I replied with the truth. I could tell he was curious. He wanted to know how it happened and if Hayden had anything to do with it but he was constraining himself. Eventually, Elliot asked me another question.

"Do you remember what happened?"

I did but I didn't know where to start the answer to his question. Do I start from the ride to the gala or maybe I tell him about Alex or I could skip to the ride back home that never seemed to end? Elliot always wanted me to be honest with him, to empty my heart so he could be my rock since I had no one else. But how could I do that? Elliot's stuck in the middle because Hayden's his brother and I'm his... I would say sister-in-law but Elliot and I are more to each other than two people brought together because of a marriage within the family. Since the first day I met Elliot, he made me feel warmness in my heart. He welcomed me into his family and began caring for me endlessly. I remember Hayden told me that Elliot made him swear to never let me go. When I first met their parents, I was terrified that they would think I wasn't good enough for their son, which wasn't far from reality. But Elliot came to dinner with us, sat next to me and made the night go by smoothly. And here he was again, taking care of me whilst my husband didn't give a shit. 

I realised I'd been staring off into nowhere and was brought back when Elliot spoke again.

"Did he do it?" He asked the question. I didn't expect him to.

"No. I was just tired and slightly drunk so I missed a step and fell," I replied nonchalantly as a sharp pain ran through my skull, making me wish I could sleep for the next week. 

"You wanna go with that answer or come up with something else?" Elliot's tone surprised me. He sounded angry and disappointed but he continued. "The doctor said you got a mild concussion but there was no alcohol in your bloodstream."

"Fine. I wasn't drunk. I just fell. I don't know why Elliot. Hayden didn't push me down the stairs okay? He wouldn't kill me. That would mean his fun would be over." I said to him, wishing he would stop thinking about it. I hated myself sometimes because I'd become like a burden to him. He thinks he has to be there for me, take care of me and love me because Hayden doesn't. 

His eyes softened as he looked at me. 

"Elle, leave him. Go somewhere far, fall in love and be happy. Hayden's not the same man you married. Kate's death blinded him. Ask him for a divorce and I promise I'll make sure it happens. You deserve the absolute f*cking world. If you think Hayden's gonna wake up one day and stop being a piece of sh*t, you're mistaken. He's gonna continue to hurt you endlessly and one day, he's going to hate himself for it but it'll be too late then. I can't see you hurting again and again. Please, Elle." Elliot said in desperation, almost begging me. He grabbed both of my hands and held them with his as he stared into my eyes. I saw the pain in his glistening eyes. Eyes that he shared with Hayden.