Locked In (Heart)

twenty eight

KYLE'S POV

i both physically and figuratively bit my tongue seeing jason alive and well — it's not that i wanted to believe he was dead, but i also didn't want to rule out the possibility so that i wouldn't get my hopes up too high.

because that's what i always had done in the past — had high hopes for things to not come true.

"things" being actually one thing and that was stan miraculously falling in love with me.

years and years i've thought it to happen for the stick to continuously come up short to my surprise.

and it's still just as short as ever hearing him say he loved wendy when being questioned by clyde of his feelings for me.

i finally decided to stop being so optimistic about everything and to just see things for what they are — the truth.

stan is the complete opposite — his naïvety makes him so optimistic about things and outcomes always seem to work in his favor no matter what it is.

but as we have gotten older, especially nowadays in high school — his immunity seems to wear off little by little as he's seeing the world for what it is.

i've always thought it was my job to protect him from the world and if that makes me "pessimistic" for attempting to guard our hearts then so be it.

we all excitedly shouted out jason's name seeing him and i was ready to apologize to stan for ruining the atmosphere earlier, only for us to be cut off my jason silently holding his finger to his lips signaling us to be quiet.

i could immediately tell something was up.

he looked terrified as he was looking out the vent.

the three of us slowly crawled over to see what he looked so spooked about, only for there to be more questions than answers.

it looked like the teams that lost during capture the flag because i immediately saw jimmy, tolkien, and kenny. there were also two boxes that had the numbers 1 and 2 labeled on them.

everyone was in commotion and screaming bloody murder.

"what the hell is going on?" i mumble out loud to which jason shhhed aggressively at me which made me jump.

a few moments later, cartman fell out of the box with the number '2' labeled on it and was covered in sweat from head to toe, looking like he'd just seen a ghost.

"cartman?" i heard clyde whisper.

everyone seemed to had stared at him in silence when damien suddenly said to him, "looks like you've chosen to float number 2."

he then looked at the other box and added, "and it looks like number 1 has chosen to sink."

i couldn't take it anymore, what the fuck am i looking at?

"what the fuck is going on?" i ask jason, it's obvious he's been watching this for a while.

"damien is a murderer," he simply said still not looking any of us in the eye breathing starting to become shakier by the second.

"what?!" clyde nearly screamed and stan's eyes immediately grew wide at that accusation.

my mind suddenly went into overdrive at those words and i honestly wish that i had a bigger reaction like clyde and stan who had no idea damien had a weird side to him.

not that i think he would be an actual murderer, but he's just so bizarre that those words being put together didn't phase me too much.

i just shivered as goosebumps layered over my skin.