Bensler Oneshots

A Very Merry Christmas

She missed him so much. It had been about seven months of this, of him gone. Again.

She realized much too late that she could have asked him not to go. She could have told him that she already knew where that compass would lead. She didn't, though, and he left.

He called. He wasn't always supposed to, but he did, every week or so. They talked about things they'd missed over the decade apart, save for a few difficult parts of conversations they'd agreed weren't completely for over the phone. He knew about her reluctance to have a new partner. He knew that Lewis had happened. He knew that she'd taken the sergeant's exam in the wake of two important people in her life retiring and leaving her behind. He knew about finding Noah. He knew about Sheila. He knew about David, Brian, and Ed. He knew about Burton.

Elliot grew closer to Noah, too, despite the ocean between them, texting him about dance and school. Her son had even connected with and made plans with Eli over the summer.

The conversations over the phone, calls, or texts were great and helped them get to know one another again. But she wanted him home now. She wanted the love of her life because she could admit that now, at least to herself, with her on Christmas.

The shiny newness of the McCanns wore off for Noah, especially as Olivia was confronted with the necessary delegation that followed her hip injury. She had been home more, which Noah liked, and she found she liked it, too. 1PP answered her request for more detectives, and rather than a sergeant, detective, and officer, she added two new detectives and had an officer finally getting a deserved detective's badge.

She made more time for Noah, made time to brave the judgmental looks of the yoga pants-wearing dance moms to watch him at practice instead of just at performances. Despite heading into his teenage years, all of this time together made Team Benson a little stronger, and Olivia loved that, too.

So, why wasn't she happy? Why did she still wake up at 4 a.m.? Why did she feel so down all the time?

When Noah begged and pleaded to stay over at a friend's house to play this amazing new video game even though it matched the one wrapped in shiny red and silver paper under their Christmas tree, Olivia couldn't bear to say no.

So, she went home alone, a week before Christmas, wearing a long-sleeved burgundy wrap dress and nice heels that wouldn't irritate her weak ankle too much and that stupid, beautiful compass necklace that was Detective Elliot "Runaway" Stabler's way of trying to tide her over for what was looking to shape up into a year of undercover work. She didn't expect, of course, to see him hopping out of his car down the street when she finally reached her building's door.

"Elliot?"

He ran to her. She despised these kinds of cheesy moments in movies, but when he ran to her in the dark with light snow falling overhead on the 18th of December, she kissed him like her life depended on it.

"Liv, God, Liv, I missed you," he muttered, lips staying only a breath away from hers when he pulled away.

"I missed you, too." She shifted out of his arms to take his hand. "Come on," she told him, guiding him into the building.

They exchanged slow, soft kisses in the elevator, completely missing the presence of her eighty-year-old neighbor, who scrambled out the second the doors opened on their floor.

Elliot let go of Olivia long enough for her to open her door, and when they got inside, though he wanted to pin her up against the door, he hugged her first instead, dragging her against him and wrapping his arms tight around her.

"No more undercover work," he told her. "I'm not leaving my family again, not leaving you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Where's Noah?"

"Staying with a friend. He had his holiday recital this evening."

"Oh, that's right. Think he'll recreate that solo he was excited about?"

"Probably. He'll be so happy to see you. He asked about you a lot. I told him some stories. You don't mind, do you?"

"Good things, I hope."

Olivia chuckled. "Mostly. Elliot, before you left, you told me to find my happiness."

"Have you found it?"

"I have."

He rubbed her hips gently. "Wanna tell me about it?"

She smiled. "I've been delegating more at work, got an infection in my hip, and had to ride the desk for a while."

"You didn't tell me you got an infection."

"It was no big deal. I'm fine now."

"Okay, okay. Sorry, continue your story."

"Well, I've had a lot more time for Noah, which has been great, and I was asked to join that foundation I was telling you about, and it's already making progress for survivor support. Amanda started consulting on cases more after her maternity leave. Oh, you have to see the baby. He's adorable. I talked my chief into more detectives because I cussed him out one morning during a pointless meeting, and now, he mostly lets me run my squad how I want. I also spent a lot of time talking to this great guy."

"Oh yeah?"

"He's kind of an overprotective bastard, but I like him. He looks like a Greek god, which is amazing since he's 60 years old and a grandpa. He's got a busload of kids, and some anger issues, but he's got a good heart, Catholic and all."

"He does sound pretty great."

"He is. He left me for a long time, though, and I had to mourn him like he had died. He was the most important person in my life, my family, and he left, but I forgave him. I love him, and he told me he loves me. I didn't think I was ready to be with him, but then, he took this unnecessary job for several months, and I realized I was more than ready and wanted to be with him for the rest of my life."

"Really?"

"Really. Do you think he wants that?"

"I know he does."