cw: strong language, arguing, suicide mentions
valerie is coming home from hospital today, so wilbur's really excited on seeing her back home, he does love her after all. he decided he's gonna
clean up a bit before she arrives home, as well as putting some music on, he turns on "do me a favour" by arctic monkeys until he gets a text off tommy.
tommy: hey man how are you?
wilbur: fine, you?
tommy: you've been worrying me wilbur, you've always been mentioning your mental health, are you sure you're okay?
wilbur: ah yeah, about that, just had a rough week. it'll blow over shortly:D
he doesn't reply after that, and he sits down on the sofa, his knee bobbing up and down in pure fear. shit. how would he know? it's just "a rough week" he reassures himself he's gonna be fine. although, the feeling of killing himself won't go. he knows how to.
he could shoot himself or even stab himself.
he just doesn't know when he'll do it.
what if tallulah saw him with a knife through his chest? he wouldn't want that upon a two year old, especially his two year old daughter.
"what the fuck is wrong with me." wilbur mutters to himself. tallulah runs downstairs, "daddy look!!" she runs over with a barbie doll in her hand, which is the one she lost. "where did you find that babygirl?" he asks, picking her up and sitting her next to him. "in the box under my bed!!" she responds, a smile prominent on her face. he bought her that doll, so he smiled. "i'm glad you found it honey, how about you play with it whilst we go get mummy from hospital?" he asks. "okay daddy!! i love you!" lulah exclaims, giggling.
"i love you more." he whispers, as he presses a gentle kiss on tallulahs forehead. she takes wilbur upstairs and gets her changed in a pink top with jeans. "daddy?" tallulah asks.
"yes baby?" wilbur replies.
"why is mummy in hospital?" she questions him
again.
"don't worry honey, she's coming out of hospital today okay?" he smiles as he puts her white cardigan on her. they go downstairs and wilbur slips on some shoes as well as his brown trench coat. "come on darling..
do you have your barbie?" wilbur asks. she nods in response, and as they get in the car to drive to the hospital, wilbur remembers he forgot something, so he runs inside.
tommy wonders to the car, and sees tallulah on her own, and he sees wilbur left the car door, wide open. so he picks her up, "hey baby, where's daddy gone?" tommy asks, taking her round the corner. "he went to go get something," tallulah replies, "do you like my barbie? daddy got it for me!!" she asks him. he smiles and nods "ofcourse i do..". wilbur rushes out, looking so panicked not seeing lulah. "lulah?!" he shouts. shit. "tallulah grace gold where the f-fuck are you?!" he starts to tear up now.
until he hears laughter, tallulah's laughter even. "get out of my head!!" is wilbur's only thought. until he turns round the corner and sees tommy holding her. "oh y-you bitch!!" he yells out to tommy, tallulah covering her ears in fear. "well you shouldn't leave your own kid unattended, william." tommy looks seriously angry now. "it was only for two minutes you don't understand!!"
"two minutes couldn't stop anyone from taking your own kid and kidnapping her."
pause.
"wilbur, fucking talk to me." tommy groans.
once again, pause.
"william patrick spencer gold fucking talk to me!!!" he finally snaps.
"tommy. val and tallulah are the only ones that are keeping me here. you just made it so much worse
taking my fucking kid!!" he shouts back.
tommy pauses for at least a minute. "wil.. are you okay?"
"i'm fine!! god why is everyone being so fucking dramatic." wilbur exclaims.
"well if you end up killing yourself that's your fault, for not reaching out, william." tommy mutters under his breath.
unfortunately, wilbur heard him.
every. single. word. "you fucking what?! you think
i'm going to fucking kill myself just because of some rough week? you're so fucking stupid tommy!!" he yells. yet, he's not stupid. he does actually want to
kill himself. he snatches tallulah out of tommy's
arms and gives her, his phone and some earplugs, and shuts the car door. "yeah because you've changed wilbur, i don't like it." he replies.
"i hate the new you, man." tommy says, anger still prominent in his voice, walking off.
YOU ARE READING
i think this time i'm dying // a wilbur soot fanfiction
Fanficwilbur soot is majorly suffering with his mental health, and he feels so lost and lonely, even with his girlfriend, valerie and daughter, tallulah, by his side. no one can help him. not even his bestfriend tommy. "i don't want to be here val, i wish...
