cw: suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, strong language, self harm.
as wilbur lies awake, the draining thoughts of suicide come back. but, this time he's actually going to do it. no more joking around, he's going to kill himself. he could either stab himself, shoot himself or "accidentally" overdose on a shit ton of pills.
he had it all worked it out in his mind.
he knows when he'll do it. he just needs tallulah and valerie out of the house.
he will do it.
he's not afraid, he never is.
after a while he drifts off to sleep, but he won't stop thinking about what he's going to do. as valerie awakens, she slowly shakes wilbur to wake him up. "wilbur honey, wake up, it's 8am.." she whispers softly.
"mhmm.." wilbur mumbles, with a groan followed shortly after.
"william, wake up." valerie exclaims and so he sits up, "what time is it?" he asks.
"8am, wil." valerie groans.
"fine, i'll get up. he rubs his eyes and his eyes are bloodshot.
"you alright wilbur? your eyes are red." she asks him.
"i'm fine, i'm just tired." he replies as he gets out of bed and wanders downstairs and he sees his daughter jumping around.
"daddy!!" she wobbles over to him and he picks her up and kisses her head. he wants to go. but, he can't go, what about tallulah?
you're gonna need to leave one day wilbur, and it's going to be today.
"morning princess, did you sleep good baby?" he smiles, yet he sounds drained. she smiled and nodded. "i did, daddy!" she giggles.
wilbur's now second doubting whether he should go. he can't leave his daughter.
but he can.
he can and he will.
"me and mummy are going s..s-shopping today!!" tallulah exclaimed, looking extremely happy in her pink unicorn dress and her hair in two pigtails. "you're so cute baby, daddy loves you so much okay lulu?" he whispers to her softly and he puts her down, sits down on the sofa so she can cuddle him. "i love you too daddy!!" she replies back with her arms hardly round his waist.
"make sure you get me something, okay princess?" wilbur asks, softly smiling.
all he wants is to fucking kill himself.
"i will daddy!!" she giggles.
"good, be a good girl for mummy okay?" he exclaims, as he presses a kiss against her head softly again. she gets off the sofa and runs to valerie and hugs her lower legs.
"do you wanna go now lulah?" valerie asks her as she nods quickly, "yeah!!" she responds as she rushes to get her shoes on.
"bye honey, we'll be home soon okay?" valerie kisses his lips softly as she leaves with tallulah in her arms. "mhm, bye." wilbur replies.
"love you wilbur.." valerie mentions.
"mhm." mumbled by wilbur.
"wilbur?" questioned val.
"yeah?" he answered.
"i said love you.." she smiles.
"yeah, you too." he forces a smile back.
as soon as wilbur shuts the door, those thoughts come back, the voices in his head telling him to kill himself and that everything would be better if he was dead.
kill yourself wilbur.
he texts tommy:
wilbur: tommy i'm gonna kill myself
tommy: wilbur you're just bluffing
wilbur: no fuck off im not
tommy: you can't say you're gonna kill yourself because you forgot your twitter password
YOU ARE READING
i think this time i'm dying // a wilbur soot fanfiction
Fanfictionwilbur soot is majorly suffering with his mental health, and he feels so lost and lonely, even with his girlfriend, valerie and daughter, tallulah, by his side. no one can help him. not even his bestfriend tommy. "i don't want to be here val, i wish...
